When Thomas arrived at the hospital, he had an extremely unusual complaint; his testicle had turned black.
Worse still? It was rapidly growing in size, going from the size of an orange to the size of a VOLLEYBALL in no time flat.
“I asked him his pain on a scale of one to 10,” said ER doctor Dr Bob Slay on TLC’s Sex Sent Me To The ER, a television series which sees doctors, nurses, and even patients recall their most shocking sex-related incidents (complete with hysterically funny reenactments!).
“He said it was a nine.”
Strangely, however, Thomas refused to accept any medication - and things became even mysterious when he refused to elaborate on how he sustained his injuries.
Speaking on the show, Dr Bob said he was suspicious that his symptoms might have been the result of a straddle injury.
He explained that "if somebody is walking on a fence or climbing either side of a fence and they drop down legs with their legs on either side, it will sometimes cause a scrotal or straddle injury", and suspected that there might have been some S&M type of thing going on.
The doctor watched in confusion as Thomas began arguing with his wife - before things took a turn for the worse.
"His wife gave the impression this is what he deserves, therefore he can go home and suffer with it,” he said.
"As they bickered, his scrotum has gone from a regulation softball to about the size of a cantaloupe to a volleyball and it's getting blacker. He can’t even put his legs together. This is a potentially very serious injury.”
Cue Caroline, a woman that worked with Thomas, bursting into the hospital cubicle and launching herself at the lawyer’s wife.
Yup, you guessed it; they’d been having an affair.
It quickly became obvious that Thomas had been caught out by his furious wife - and she decided to deal some swift revenge in the form of a seriously hard kick to the crotch.
Ouch. Thankfully there was no rupture of the testicles - but Thomas did need surgery to drain the blood.
Hear more about Thomas’ story on Sex Sent Me To The ER on TLC April 15 at 10pm.
SEX IN PUBLIC: THE COUPLES WHO GOT BUSTED
Sex in public: The couples who got busted [NSFW]
1 of 16The Clock Tower Couple - Sydney, Australia
This stark naked couple were photographed having sex on a clock tower in the middle of a busy shopping centre, and were seemingly unbothered about the terrifying drop they faced should they accidentally bump 'n' grind right off the balcony.
Ah well, live while you're young and all that…
2 of 16The Motorway Couple - Google Street View
It’s entirely possible that this couple isn’t actually having sex, and is rather just having some fun at Google’s expense. On the other hand, it’s also possible that they’re doing both. Either way, they're smiling - and that's the main thing, right?
3 of 16The 'New Mexico State Police Officer' Couple - America
This police officer was awkwardly caught out having sex, while in uniform, in public, in broad daylight by a security camera. Inappropriate use of time and tax money? Or just an excellent example of multi-tasking? You decide.
4 of 16The Russian Fountain Couple - Leningrad Street, Russia
This erotic encounter was filmed by 26-year-old Aleksey Douhov as the lovebirds went at it for 15 minutes on top of the historic fountain in the city of Samara, with the video quickly becoming one of the most watched on Russian social media. The ultimate PDA?
5 of 16The Parisian Couple - Paris
Where better to get down 'n' dirty than on the streets of Paris, City Of Love? Exactly.
6 of 16The Sex On The Beach Couple - Florida, America
Elissa Alvarez, 20, and Jose Caballero, 39, had sex on a Florida beach for a full 25 minutes before wandering off for a swim. Despite the fact everyone around them knew what was going on, nobody rang the police.
But, when the duo decided to go for round two, it became too much for nearby witnesses - one of whom was sitting with a 4-year-old girl.
7 of 16The Student Couple - Cambridge, UK
The guy who filmed this couple going at it on the streets of Cambridge told a local paper: "I heard some groaning outside and to be honest I thought it was some kind of a monster. I opened up the curtain. I could not really believe what I was seeing.
"I got all the guys over to have a look and I thought I better film this. It was pretty hilarious.”
8 of 16The Car Park Couple - Bluewater, UK
Kent999s - who pride themselves on telling the public what Kent's emergency services are up to - tweeted photos of a couple, whose trousers are halfway down their legs, passionately kissing while leaning against a black Citroen in the Bluewater Shopping Centre's carpark.
Blue by name, blue by nature, we guess!
9 of 16The 'On The Road' Couple - Magaluf, Spain
The couple, who can be seen having sex between two parked cars in the footage, were filmed by someone recording through a nearby window. During the two-minute encounter, the copulating couple - who appear to be in their 30s - seem unfazed by passing cars.
We guess they were a little distracted…
10 of 16The 'Should Probably Be Teaching' Couple - Slovenia
A married headmaster was found by students between the legs of a female maths teacher when they heard noises coming from a classroom.
They said: "We heard the noises and knew someone was having sex in there’ said one 19-year-old at the high school in Slovenia.
"But we thought it would be other students. We couldn’t believe it when we saw our maths teacher and headmaster."
11 of 16The Banking Couple - Oviedo, Spain
This impatient man and woman were busted by police when they stripped off and had sex inside an ATM bank. While they weren't arrested, they were made famous when photos of the incident went viral on Twitter.
12 of 16The History Loving Couple - Newcastle, UK
These history buffs were caught IN the buff when they were snapped on top of a fortification in Newcastle, England. Their photo soon went viral on Twitter and history was made.
13 of 16The Daredevil Couple - Tartu, Estonia
It must have taken a LOT of guts for these exhibitionists to clamber up on top of this bridge, which stands at 45 metres tall. Zoinks! Eyewitnesses photographed the couple and posted them to a Dutch social media site, which was nearly shut down when so many people logged in wanting to see it.
14 of 16The Student Couple Part II - University of Southern California, America
These two students decided to sneak onto the roof of their university for a steamy hook-up, and were snapped by hundreds of students standing in the quad below. Awks.
15 of 16The Sports Fan Couple - Yankee Stadium, America
In a YouTube video posted on the sports blog Deadspin, fans can be seen watching as a man clad only in a hiked-up CC Sabathia T-shirt and a woman had full-on sex in a Yankee Stadium Bathroom.
“People were jockeying for position outside the stall to take pics either over or under, and even standing up on the toilet bowl on the neighbouring stall,” one eyewitness said.
16 of 16The Katie Hopkins Couple - A field, UK
Yes, Katie Hopkins got photographed having sex in a field. Old news.