There’s no point trying to sweeten it up like a packet of sugar-coated almonds; being a bridesmaid is tough.
But, while it’s a lotta hard work, it’s usually all worth it to play an important part in your BFF’s wedding day.
Or, you know, so we thought.
However, thanks to THESE new Reddit confessions, it seems as if being a bridesmaid isn’t worth it at all.
In fact, it can leave you feeling like you’re trapped in your very own nightmare.
Your finances crumble, your self-dignity takes a hit or two (hello, fluffy pink dress!), and your friendships can be left in tatters… particularly if the bride unleashes her inner bridezilla.
Check out these 20 real-life #BridesmaidHell moments for yourself if you don't believe us...
1) This bridesmaid dress nightmare
My college roommate asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I agreed. Then the bridesmaid dress she picked out for me was $2400. I couldn't afford it and gently told her so. I found a pattern for a similar dress and fabric that was the same colour and type, so I asked her if it was okay if I made the similar dress, or perhaps we could go dress shopping together to find something in my budget?
All of the bridesmaids were going to be wearing the same colour, but she'd picked out different styles of dresses for each of us, so it wasn't as if I would stick out like a sore thumb.
She cussed me out, told me I was ruining her wedding, that her ‘vision’ required me to wear THAT dress, and can't I just get a credit card to charge the dress on?
When I told her no, she cut all contact with me, claiming that if I was a true friend I would make the finances work. She's never spoken to me again. She'd been like a sister to me up until that point.
One of the dresses she'd picked out for another bridesmaid was $300, by the way. I was p**sed when I found that out.
2) The ULTIMATE bridezilla email
Welcome to my bridal party. I thought today would be a great day to start this chain, as it is officially six months until my wedding day.
I just wanted to go over some ground rules.
- Weigh-ins will begin in 3 weeks. I for one would really like some time after Thanksgiving to make my body forget about what it consumed, so I thought I would give you guys some cushion room
- No-one can be skinner than the bride. That means Kelly and Lizzie will be on a protein weight gainer diet exclusively until May. I will have the nutritionist call you to discuss diet plans.
- Bed times leading up to the wedding will be strictly enforced. I absolutely cannot having you all have saggy, baggy eyes. I am sure you all understand.
- Swimwear attire: I would like everyone to wear matching bikinis that have rhinestones on the tushie spelling out "maids," which brings me to my next point.
- All bikinis leading up to the wedding must be strapless bandeaus. I cannot have terrible tan lines in strapless dresses.
- Sunscreen: We need to make sure you ladies look lovely and radiant and not red and reptile like. Pack accordingly.
- Speeches: We all know what happened at Taylor's wedding. So if you plan to make a toast, please submit it for approval and revision, no later than 4 weeks prior to the wedding.
- Hair cuts: If you plan on chopping off your locks, please submit your proposed new look prior to any actions (this applies to coloring as well).
- Attendance: is strongly requested at all events but I will make some exceptions on a case by case basis.
- Ink: Consider this a moratorium on future tattoos until June 5th. Those of you with visible artwork will be privately contacted with (temporary) removal instructions.
Thank you for your time and consideration. Should everyone abide by these minor requests, I am sure we will all have a memorable weekend.
Just kidding b**ches, well, sorta. Love you all!
3) This bridesmaid diet regime
My sister in law asked her bridesmaids (me included) to gain 5-10 kilos to make her look better in comparison. I just can't understand that.
She’s crazy, none of us did it especially as she outweighed the heaviest of us by 20kilos anyway, so I doubt it would have made her look any different.
She was super serious and threatened to replace us all of we didn't, but my significant other talked her down.
4) This wedding toilet disaster
The bride slapped me in the mouth in the restroom during the reception. She had this massive, billowing explosion of organza as a skirt. It was beautiful but utterly impractically designed; it took at least three of us to hold up her skirt so she could pee. She had been drinking on an empty stomach and on the second trip to the rest room with all of us holding this dress up while she hovered drunkenly over a toilet she couldn't see, she ordered me to wipe her.
Ordered. Me. To clean her t**t of urine.
I declined.
She slapped me.
The skirt was dropped by all parties while I shouted obscenities at her. She screamed that if I didn't do this for her, this friendship was over! Over!
She tried to apologise years later, but seemed surprised when I was not interested in rekindling our friendship.
5) The ultimate passive-aggressive bridesmaid rejection
I have a friend (and neighbour) getting married in November. She asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, and I happily accepted. My husband was also asked to be best man; he accepted as well. Bad move. She first requested that her bridesmaids purchase a $370 dollar dress with matching custom shoes running another $80 or so. Then she sent an email saying that her sister (her MOH) had already purchased the dress and it was wonky on top and would also have to be altered.
This girl also decided renting a suit or a tux wasn't good enough, and she wanted the groomsmen to purchase custom suits for the event. Adding up just the clothes comes out to be around a grand. Future husband is also planning his own bachelor party with a total guest list of 20 people, at multiple venues, with stretch limos as transportation, and expects my husband to foot the bill.
Now, this couple is of fairly modest means, to put it diplomatically. We're not much better off. We're living on a single income with three kids and don't have much expendable income at the end of the month. This couple also attended our own wedding this past October, and was able to observe the sort of ceremony we had. It was a family and intimate friends back yard wedding, and the entire event cost less than two grand. When my husband and I totalled together what they are asking for us to spend, it came out to over three grand.
I tried explaining gently that my husband and I didn't think we could shoulder the expense and that we would need to talk to see what we could feasibly contribute- she said okay and then went to a bridal expo the next day, and plastered pictures all over Facebook, with "all her bridesmaids- had a blast!!" and "Infinity Girls 4 Life!!!" I guess I was passive-aggressively disinvited to be her bridesmaid. At this point I am just considering it bullet dodged. Infinity girls, what is this? Middle school?! Husband is having a talk soon about bowing out as well.
6) This VERY awkward hen party
We, the bridesmaids, were planning the bride's bachelorette. I suggested we go up to my cottage for the weekend (swimming/drinking etc) and go into town one evening for a big right bash at a bar. It went over well, all was planned!
Since none of us had cars (we live in a big city), except for the bride and one bridesmaid who lived close to the cottage. We asked the bride or her fiancé to maybe drive to the cottage, or at least to the bridesmaid-with-the-car's place. She said ok. Phew, all going smoothly.
We took public transit out to her place on the Friday, and her fiancé drove us to the bridesmaid-with-the-car's place.
On the way home, after the cottage, we were told they would only drive us (3 bridesmaids without a car, including me who hosted the weekend), as far as the next big town. That meant we would all be stranded 3 hours from home, while the bride got a ride back to the bridesmaid-with-car's house to wait for her fiancé to pick her up. We weren't allowed to go that far.
So we were dropped off at a bus stop, and took a bus home with all our gear. The bus took us over 5 hours with all the stops and connections.
I was very tempted to put the bus ticket receipt in her receiving box at the wedding. I didn't go that far, but she didn't get a very nice gift.
Worst bride ever. Overall, her reasoning was she was the bride, she didn't want to drive at all for her weekend. So it's not our fault. We had even offered to pay for her gas and plus more if she'd drive her car to the cottage. She refused everything. She did not want to lift a finger that weekend. 4 years later, she is now asking if I will make her a bridesmaid at my upcoming wedding.. NOPE!
7) The bride with SIX wedding dresses
One of my oldest friends turned out to be kind of a crazy bride. We lost contact in college, but when she asked me to be in her wedding I was stoked because growing up, she had always been really laid back and fun. A lot changed I guess...
The bridal party was twenty people--ten bridesmaids, ten groomsmen. We were basically the unpaid wedding staff; although over half of the bridesmaids and groomsmen sat around flirting instead of working. The remaining eight of us set up, and completely decorated the venue for a 200 guest wedding. The bride and her super controlling mother followed us around, correcting absolutely everything we did.
Why? The bride and her mother didn't want to pay the venue staff who would normally do this. What did they spend the budget on instead? Six wedding dresses. Yes, throughout the course of the very long wedding ceremony/reception, the bride changed into all six. No, it wasn't a cultural thing. They were six, nearly identical, very expensive white satin dresses. I guarantee you, most people hardly noticed that she changed six times.
Hours before the wedding, the bride has a breakdown because she didn't make a hair or make-up appointment, and the salon she wanted to go to couldn't squeeze her in. She is crying, while eight of her ten bridesmaids comfort her and proceed to work on her hair and makeup. Myself and the remaining bridesmaid are sent to go check on things in the kitchen.
So, although the venue let us set up, it was sort of a requirement that you use the catering staff in place. But that didn't stop the mother of the bride from micromanaging in the kitchen. We walk in, and she is yelling at the kitchen staff, telling them how they should be doing things. She sees us, and starts giving us tasks. Peel, chop! Uh...ok? So the other bridesmaid and I do as she says despite the kitchen staff staring daggers at us.
So there we are, sweating profusely, peeling and chopping. Quick mental picture-- the bridesmaid dresses the bride picked out were these garish purple numbers, with a fully open back and extremely deep V down the front. Under this, we had to wear neon bustiers, which were completely visible under the dresses (that was the point, I guess). Impractical, unflattering...and the absolute LAST thing I want to be cooking in.
It was a surreal and bizarre experience. I could go on and on, but this is already ridiculously long.
8) This bride whose priorities were ALL wrong
I was supposed to be a bridesmaid in my (ex)friend’s wedding. We weren't as close as we were when we were kids, but she didn't really have many other friends so I was nice enough to say yes. I helped her pick flowers, we had already chosen her dress and the bridesmaids dresses. Her wedding was in October. In May, I decided to move across the country due to issues I was having in the current place I was living. I told her I would fly back for the parties in July, that I would get the bridesmaid dress altered by myself, and fly back again for the wedding in October. She responded to that by sending horribly mean text messages, saying if I couldn't be there for the dress fitting, she'd "find someone else to fit the dress", and saying it was incredibly selfish of me to move while she was planning her wedding. That's the last time I've talked to her since.
With the issues I was having at home, one involved a car accident. My mom told her about it, and her first response was, "well, is she going to ruin my wedding?" not ever asking once how I was.
9) The bridesmaid contract
A bridesmaid contract. I said "NOPE" and got out of being in the wedding party and had a great time at the wedding, worry-free.
I now wish that I had saved it. I was so p**sed I threw it away.
It was basically an outline saying when/where/who/how I'd do things leading up to the date. Lots of unnecessary things, in my opinion. And if you "broke" the contract, you'd be dropped from the wedding, even if you had already purchased the dress.
I feel, if you can't trust your MOA or bridesmaids to do the normal assistance with the big day and a contract needs to be made up, they really shouldn't be in the wedding.
10) This unreasonable bridezilla
After my friend got engaged, she invited me out to coffee to let me know that she wouldn't be asking me to be a Bridesmaid - she didn't have enough room in the party. I was surprised - we were pretty close - but not upset.
Next week, she invites me to coffee again, looking for a shoulder to cry on. Her sister, who she had named Maid of Honour, wasn't performing her duties. Now, there was magically room for me in the bridal party, and she asked me to fulfil the role while not having the title. I felt for her, so I agreed.
I did everything for that girl. I planned with her, I was a shoulder to cry on, I showed up for everything when every other bridesmaid and family member repeatedly bailed. One weekend, her sister felt inspired to throw a last minute bridal shower (she contacted me two days before). My boyfriend was coming home from his one year deployment that same weekend - I declined to go, thinking the Bride would understand - I had attended everything else, and I hadn't seen my boyfriend in a year.
Wrong. That whole night, she and her fiancé blew up my phone with aggressive texts, cursing me out for not coming, telling me I shouldn't even come to the wedding. I agreed. Haven't talked to her since.
11) The cruellest bride ever?
My bridezilla friend told me I wasn't allowed to take pain medication (for my lupus) at her wedding. She was afraid I'd be "too out of it" to perform my MOH duties. 9am to 7pm is a long time to be on your feet without a break and without pain meds. I sent them off to their honeymoon and drove the eight hours home in misery.
12) This bride’s horrifying comment
I was the MOH at my childhood best friend's wedding. At this time I had just started to date someone new. Moments before we were about to walk out, she turns to me and says "You know, your relationship is such a joke. Nobody will ever accept an interracial couple like you two. That's why my wedding is always going to be so much better than yours." I looked really miserable trying to force a smile on my face the rest of the day.
13) The bride who bullied her single mum bridesmaid
I almost had to end my friendship with my best friend during her wedding. She picked out a $500 dress for me and a $200 for my daughter, the flower girl. I am a single mom and could not afford that at all. I told her we can try and find something similar and she INSISTED on having it. I basically told her if she insisted, then she would have to pay for it, I was not going to put myself in debt that much, I couldn't do especially since I was struggling so much at the time, she knew all this way ahead of time too, it was no way a surprise to her.
Then there were times she would call me at 1pm in the middle of a weekday, I am working as I worked Mon-Fri, she knew my hours. But she would say "I just decided to get a fitting done, another bridesmaid is here, you need to be here NOW" I couldn't just leave work so I had to say no. She would also plan last minute late night get togethers to help plan things. Of course on weeknights when my daughter had school the next day. I offered for her to come to me but she refused, I HAD to go to her. An email was sent and she told me I was not helping her with anything, how could I not support her though the biggest day of her life, I was a horrible friend, etc. Man it was emotionally destroying.
Final straw came at her bachelorette party when she got drunk at club, puked on my hand and flushed my phone down the toilet without even apologising or feeling bad. I walked out and did not speak to her until the wedding day. Just showed up and played my part. Eventually she did apologise profusely and we are luckily still friends. But man, girls can get NUTS for their weddings. I decided I will just get married in Vegas one day, screw the big wedding.
14) This bride who wanted her bridesmaids to sleep in tents
The bride wanted all the bridesmaids to stay in a tent in her backyard for the night following the wedding, so they would be early to set up for the present-opening.
15) The bride who hated blue. A lot.
She originally told us we could wear whatever style dress we wanted, as long as it was the same colour. We (bridesmaids) all agreed on a robin's egg blue colour. We bought our dresses about 4 months before the wedding.
Two months before, she changes her mind and tells us we are all going to wear BLACK (to a summer wedding!?) and that we all have to now wear the same style. We just wasted like 200 bucks or more on these blue dresses that were now custom for us and it was way past the return policy. We couldn't take them back if we tried.
A week later she decided to get rid of us as bridesmaids altogether because she thought we would be prettier than her and thus the attention would be on us, not her...and believe me, the bride is gorgeous by anyone's standards. So when her backup bridesmaids realised they were her last option, they pretty much said “f**k you” so SIL asked us back. There were 4 of us... and the other 3 agreed, but I told her no way, because I didn't want to be given last minute changes.
She told me that she would let us wear blue if I was her Maid Of Honour (there was already a MOH) and I said I'd have to talk to the already-instated MOH first...who remained MOH thanks to me arguing with the bride to keep her there.
So now we're 2 weeks away from the wedding. She has a s**t fit and tells us blue is once again hideous and now we need to wear yellow. There is no time for us to get fitted and what not, so we all speak up and say that we are wearing the blue and that's that.
16) This bride who fired her pregnant bridesmaid
I knew a woman who was a bridesmaid in a relatives wedding. She was married and had been trying to get pregnant for a while. Finally, her and her hubby got lucky and she conceived.
The bridezilla got furious and kicked her out of the wedding because she would be pregnant in the pictures. 3 months later, sadly, the woman miscarried. The bride called her with a response along the lines of "good, well now you can be back in the wedding."
Needless to say, she did not even attend it.
17) The bride who lost her sense of humour
I was a bridesmaid in this winter-themed wedding. We wore blue silk dresses with white fake fur capelets and MUFFS. At one point we were getting ready for the ceremony and the bride said, "kittenhiccups, let me see your muff." I batted my eyelashes and joked, "I've waited so long to hear those words from you!"
The look she shot me could have killed a fucking moose. She started going off on me about not taking things seriously enough and maybe I should go hang out with the groomsmen instead if I was going to make lewd jokes.
Yeah. Maybe I should have.
18) This psychopathic bride
Bridezilla is putting it mildly. I once flew into a foreign country for this woman's wedding since I was a bridesmaid. The time I was there I witnessed her: shoving her daughter, starving and neglecting her pets, constantly fighting with her fiancé, trying to control what I ate, accused me of stealing from her since I took a Pepsi from the refrigerator after they said to make myself at home, freaking out the night before as we were setting up because everything was wrong.
After the day had come and gone and I flew home I get an email about a month later, "You really p**sed everyone off! They all found you rude and lazy. My husband isn't calling you names he's only calling you out on how you are." I told her to have a nice life then blocked her from ever contacting me again.
Next thing I know, my family and friends are getting threatened and harassed, fake profiles were made with my name and photo, several message boards on Facebook have my name, number, and address up along with the biggest loads of bullshit for any random stranger to read.
19) The bride who sent her guests an invoice
My friend is getting married in October. We were friends for about 8 years. She asked me to be one of her bridesmaids and I happily obliged. Little did I know she was going to be big-headed ego bridezilla.
She demanded that everyone wear these hideous dresses that we had to pay for. I was okay with it since they didn't cost that much. She also demanded that all the girls dye their hair because she could be the ONLY blonde one there. I have naturally blonde hair and I'm not going to dye it for a day. She got p**sed at me that I wouldn't dye my hair and replaced me with a girl that she’s known for years but recently become friends with. They used to talk crap behind each others backs.
Next she had to nerve to ask everyone who wasn't in her bridal party to pay $80 per guest ($160 for me and my boyfriend) for food. She’s having a buffet of BBQ. She also expected a present that was valued above $50. She sent all of this via Facebook. I sent her a message back and told her I would either pay for the food or a present and for her to choose. I got a hard copy invite recently and realised that the date was the same date my boyfriend is doing Tough Mudder competition.
I chose that over her wedding.
20) Annnnnnnd this very awkward request…
At my cousin's wedding, the bride's brother's girlfriend was a bridesmaid. The rest of the bridal party were either close friends or family.
During the wedding pictures she made us take two of every one: one with the girlfriend and another exactly the same, except without the girlfriend. Bride was throwing a fit about it. She didn't want to look at the pictures years down the road in the case that they broke up.
Yeah, I'm sure we'd all collectively forget the girlfriend was even there.
The girlfriend played along, but everyone could tell she felt really upset about it.
You can find plenty more bridesmaids sharing their bridezilla nightmares over on Reddit, if these haven’t satisfied your appetite!
Do you have a bridesmaid horror story to top these?
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