A bride has taken to Reddit to explain why she uninvited ALL of her "flakey" bridesmaids to her wedding!
Getting married is the biggest day of many people's lives... but it can also be incredibly stressful.
And for one bride - who made the devastating decision to un-invite her friends (who also happened to be her bridesmaids!) to her wedding - that was definitely the case.
The Reddit user - who goes by the name Turtlekin - wrote about her wedding drama in a post titled I snapped at my flakey bridal party and un-invited them from my wedding. Feel terrible about it, and not sure what to do about it
READ: The 15 people you'll find in every bridesmaids group chat
She wrote: "I'm the first person in our group to get engaged, and I was really excited to do all the fun bridesmaids things with them. They didn't seem to be excited for me, but I figured it was just because they were busy.
"I'll be honest that my friends had always been kind of flakey. The thing that stands out the most was when my best friend tried to throw a surprise party for my 18th birthday and only two other friends bothered showed up (one of them was the person hosting the party.) That hurt, but they tried to make it up to me at our following get together.
"I'll admit that even after that I was very angry with them. I try to be a forgiving person, but in letting some things slide, I end up just bottling up my frustration until I get extremely angry."
The 21-year-old bride then went on to explain how her bridesmaids didn't put any effort into the wedding plans: "I tried to get them to come to an engagement party, but only my fiancé’s friends showed up. I tried to get them to throw me a bridal shower, but they didn't, and my mother and aunts ended up being the ones to throw it.
"I tried to get them to come to my bachelorette party, but my sister/maid-of-honour told me that they weren't really communicating with her on it. Which is twice as heart-breaking because they are bride's maids.
"The final straw was when I asked them go dress shopping with me. I told them I really needed them to be a part of this with me and we all agreed on a day to do it. Fast forward to that day and they all cancel on me. One of them doing so an hour before my appointment. I asked my mom to come with me and sister at the last minute, and it was a nice time, but I really wanted my friends with me."
After talking to her fiancé they both agreed that they wouldn't have anyone in the wedding party apart from themselves and the officiant. Although her husband's groomsmen were fine with the idea she pointed out that her friends were indifferent.
On Reddit she revealed how emotional it made her feel: "That's when I finally broke. I was so mad that they weren't even the slightest bit disappointed in not being my bridal party. I sent them a message in our group chat basically saying 'since you don't seem to care, I'll take you off the invitations.'"
However, despite having the backing of her fiance and family (and us, tbh. Her friends seem AWFUL!), the young bride soon started having regrets (not least because her bridesmaids finally kicked into action and started trying to help out... better late than never, eh?).
She explained: "After a couple of days of them freaking out over text and me not answering their texts, I cooled down and realized that I had basically un-invited my only friends from my wedding. I feel terrible.
"I want to re-invite them and make amends, but I'm afraid it'll just be another cycle until I snap again. I don't want our group that had be together for almost a decade to be broken up because I had a tantrum.
"I’m at a loss and I don't know if I was justified in doing what I did, or if I was just being childish. I would really appreciate an outside perspective on this."
Lots of people showed their support and replied to the bride-to-be. A few people pointed out that her bridesmaids don't act the way friends should.
One person wrote: "I don't think you un-invited your friends because it doesn't really seem like they were your friends to begin with."
Another wrote: "These people are not your friends. They're acquaintances. Friends are there for you. Friends support you in general but especially when you're getting married. Friends give a shit. None of these people display those traits."
A third person argued: "Real friends don't have to "make up" as much as these clowns have. They show up in the first place. This is a toxic relationship. They are so used to getting to shit on you they never thought you'd stand up for yourself. But like all abused partners, once you did, they are falling all over themselves to be nice. For a time..."
However, one user who recently got married pointed out how the bridesmaids might feel. They wrote: "You and your girlfriends are 21, and it sounds like in college. This isn't the point in life that most people do things like throw housewarming parties, showers, and weddings. They're simply not at that point in life yet, and they're not able to relate to you."
They continued: "This is often the poorest a person is in life, so it's hard to even attend a shower or wedding, much less invest the kind of expenses and time required to be part of the bridal party. Please try to understand where your friends are coming from. They're pre occupied with things most 20-year-old are pre occupied with, and they can't relate to the (premature, perhaps?) life events that you're planning at the moment. Don't throw away friendships over this."
Another person wrote: "You're asking a lot of some 20-year-old girls. They're probably still enjoying getting wasted on Tuesday nights and spending Sundays wearing oversized sunglasses and nursing hangovers. On the other hand, they're probably look at you and thinking you're moving way too fast and aren't taking your life decisions seriously."
After a few other people pointed out they may be flakey because weddings are expensive the bride revealed she wanted her friends to help her throw a bridal shower and not pay for it.
Do you think the bride was right to uninvite her bridesmaids to her wedding? Did your friends support you during your the run-up to your big day? Have you ever been involved in a wedding with a bridezilla? Let us know on Facebook or Twitter.
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