Speaking with Marie Claire, Rexan explained: “I am a product of incest.
“My grandfather sexually abused my mother—his daughter—for years, eventually getting her pregnant, and I am the result.
“He's my grandfather and my father; his other seven children are my aunts and uncles, and my brothers and sisters.”
She continued: “For years, my mother, the oldest, put up with the abuse through a twisted agreement with her dad: Do what you need to with me, as long as you leave the other daughters alone.
“She was 18 and a mother to me before she learned that he never actually kept this promise, which is when she fled.”
However, despite the fact that Rexan’s father eventually wound up behind bars, the cycle of abuse continued.
She said frankly: “My mother started doing drugs, and continued the cycle of abuse.
“She got a new boyfriend and would use me, a toddler at the time, as a part of their sexual activity — she filmed and photographed me in these situations and sold them as kiddie porn.
“One of my earliest, haziest memories is being sent to my room for the night because I resisted, and in another I refuse to give her boyfriend oral sex.
“My mother hanged herself on August 7, 1996, when I was almost 5.”
Rexan wound up living with her grandmother, a woman who despised her for being the love child of her husband. As a result, Rexan was psychologically and physically abused for years, which led to her seeking refuge in prescription painkillers.
However, when she was 16-years-old, Rexan fell pregnant - and her child helped her change for the better.
She sobered up, she gave up the pills, and she was fostered by a kindly social worker.
She graduated from high school, married the father of her son, and went on to have another child… but, still haunted by her past, she struggled terribly with anxiety and depression.
As a result of this, Rexan’s husband left her - but she formed a strong friendship with his new wife and, along with several other friends, has been able to find inner strength.
She said: “I've spent enough of my life being angry. And enraged about my past, and resentful of my family, and pessimistic about humanity's enormous capacity for evil.
“I am done being angry.”
Rexan has now founded a support group, as a means to allow survivors of child abuse, incest, rape, and domestic violence a place where their voice can be heard.
It has allowed her to form a network of survivors and come to terms with the past - so that she can focus on her future with her two sons.
Read the full essay here.