Describing his three-year-old Koala, GumNut, his owner writes: ‘I’m desperately trying to find a new home for [him]. I bought him back in January figuring it would be an awesome pet…
'Sadly I was wrong.’
Adding that he’s ‘not sure what the used Koala Bear market is like’ he urges users not to be ‘an idiot, I am not interested in trading my Koala Bear for your busted up 1980’s Camero, your XBOX, or an offer to paint my garage door.’
He goes on to list his Koala’s good and bad qualities, stating that while he ‘gets on well with one of my two dogs,’ the negatives outweigh the positive.
‘He eats a lot of eucalyptus, which is not as cheap as I expected,’ moans the owner.
‘Apparently Eucalyptus is like a drug for Koala Bears, when GumNut is coming down from his high he becomes very violent and aggressive.’
‘He raped and killed my wife’s cat “Miss Kitty” (Honestly, I wanted to put this in the good section because I’ve been trying to find a way to get that worthless cat out of our house for two years, thanks GumNut.)’
‘He does not like Asians.’
‘Once he is in the water he is fine, getting him into the water is a challenge, he will scratch you, he will bite you, and you will bleed.’
‘He is quiet, and as a result has snuck in on my wife and I during intimate moments. I mind him watching; maybe it won’t bother you as much.’
‘GumNut smells terrible and is not easy to wash. I had to hold a gas soaked rag over his mouth till he blacked out to get him in this tub for a bath.’
‘Once he is in the water he is fine, getting him into the water is a challenge, he will scratch you, he will bite you, and you will bleed.’
Blimey. That is one aggressive Koala.