Mum shares powerful stillbirth message on Facebook: ‘Please remember my story’

On 21st September, Natalie Morgan took to Facebook to share her devastating stillbirth story with the world.

And, with it, she issued an important plea to parents everywhere.

Her powerful message reads:

*There seem to be so many friends of mine and Brian that have either recently had babies, are soon to have babies, or will probably be expecting babies in the future. *

This is my plea to you:

*There will be times your child will scream and cry any time you try to put him or her down. Or they'll cry even as they're in your arms and you've done everything you can possibly think of to get them to stop. *

*There will be sleepless nights, multiple diaper changes in a matter of minutes, spit up in your hair, pee on your shirt, and poop in your hands, and again - so much screaming from the baby, and probably from you as well. *

Every time that happens, every time you feel frustrated and want to run away, please remember my story.

My sweet, sweet Eleanor Josephine was born sleeping September 11th. I went to bed the night of the 10th, and she was kicking away. I woke up, and she wasn't. I couldn't find the heartbeat on the home doppler. I knew. I just knew. I didn't want to know...I wanted to be mistaken, but I knew.

We went to Labor and Delivery immediately, praying the whole way there. They tried the doppler - nothing. Before they put the ultrasound wand on me, they ran the heartbeat monitor over my belly - nothing. My heart was sinking fast, and I remember thinking "This can't be happening...this is just a dream...this can't be happening...They'll find something on the ultrasound...just something."

*But these were feeble hopes, because again, I knew. I could tell they knew, too, but no one said anything until Brian (who was parking the car) got there. I could tell they were delaying, "Oh, the ultrasound machine sometimes takes a while to boot up." "I think there's something wrong with the wand...." *

*Finally, Brian was there, they did the ultrasound, and there was silence as they all exchanged nervous glances. *

Finally one of them matter-of-factly said, "Hi Natalie, I'm Doctor ______ (I don't remember her name, but you don't want to know what I call her in my head). I'm sorry...there's nothing there."

*I keep having flashbacks to that moment. It's a crippling, all-consuming feeling of utter suffocation, and a memory that will haunt me for the rest of my life. In that moment, I felt trapped as if the ceiling was literally crashing down on top of me. *

I couldn't breathe, I lashed out, I screamed, I threw things, I threw up... and then a piece of me died with her. I was helpless to change anything. My body was supposed to keep her safe, and instead it killed her. I was 40w6d.

A couple of hours later, I was induced. They offered me an epidural, but I couldn't do it. I needed to own it. I needed the pain, the agony, and misery to mirror what I felt in my heart. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. Ever.

Dealing with the unbearable contractions, the ring of fire, the tearing... knowing that all of it was for nothing. I was delivering a lifeless child. There would be no happiness at the end of it to help me forget the pain. The pain, unlike my baby girl, would live on forever.

Natalie then asked parents to look at their own babies - and stop seeing them as a burden, but as a treasure.

"Please just remember, while you're awake at 3 a.m. because you have a baby in your arms keeping you up that late, I'm up at 3 a.m. because I don't," she wrote in her gut-wrenching post.

And I would give anything in this world to have a baby spitting up on me, being colicky for all hours of the day and night, screaming, not letting me put her down, cracking my nipples from breastfeeding, keeping me up all night.

Ultimately, the mum's plea is simple but powerful.

"All I ask of you is when you have your dark moments with your baby -- when you're at your wits' end and feel like you can't go on anymore when you're only getting an hour or two of sleep a night -- instead of begging your child to go to sleep and being swallowed up in your frustration and exhaustion, find the tiniest bit of strength within you to keep going, and say a prayer of gratitude for your child, as difficult as it may be in that moment," she wrote.

"And if you would, say a prayer for me and all the mothers whose children were taken from them too soon," she continued. "Say a prayer for my sweet, sweet Eleanor who never got to know life outside my womb.

“Please. Do it for Eleanor. And do it for her mommy who loves her and misses her beyond measure."

The heartbreaking post has been shared over 300,000 times on times on Facebook.

And mums from all around the world have taken to the social media site to share their support with Natalie.

“I've been thinking of your family everyday,” said one. “Thank you for sharing these honest, beautiful words and vulnerable, beautiful pictures of your precious girl.”

Another added: “That was the most beautiful thing I've ever read. I am crying like a baby right now myself, my heart breaks for you daily and I cry for you daily. I can't imagine your pain. Please remember how loved you are.”

**Were you moved by this mum’s powerful message? **

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