Meme sparks debate over whether children should be ‘forced’ to hug and kiss relatives

Is the meme a bit extreme or making a good point?

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by Thea de Gallier |
Published on

A meme, featuring a picture of little girl alongside the words: "I am 5. My body is my body. Don't force me to kiss or hug. I am learning about consent and your support on this will help me keep myself safe for the rest of my life" has sparked furious debate online.

The meme was posted online by CAPS Hauraki, a New Zealand-based social service and counselling agency, posted a meme to their Facebook page, to highlight what they believe is an important role for parents to teach their children about consent.

Posting the meme on their Facebook page, CAPS Hauraki wrote: "Supporting our children's understanding of body autonomy has a lifelong reach. Let's do all we can to normalise a child's right to do what they want with their own bodies."

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Since the image was posted online, debate has raged in the comments below.

Some parents insisted that they and their relatives would continue to hug and kiss their children, with one writing:

"Disagree with what your saying. If I want to hug my kids. Or my family hug my kids. Then f**k me im going to let them."

Others wondered whether the post was equating innocent hugs and kisses with sexual abuse.

"So, we are going to make something innocent and used as a show of affection and turn it into something perverted? THIS is what is inherently wrong with our country," fumed one poster.

"Human beings scientifically NEED touch for survival. It releases much needed endorphins which produce positive feelings in human beings."

Others claimed they'd been taught to hug and kiss their own relatives, and couldn't see a problem.

"So are you saying you should not tell your kids to hug and kiss their grandparents hello and goodbye? Or their aunt and uncles? I grew up having to give all my family members a hug or a kiss when we saw them and I grew up fine!" said one angry poster.

"So you people think its okay to force people to kiss you? Thats called assault," replied another.

But the majority of commenters understood that the intention of the post wasn't to demonise innocent displays of affection, but rather, that a child should decide who they feel comfortable giving affection to.

"As a person who works at a sex offender treatment facility and with most of the offenders being family members, some of you need to rethink this notion of teaching your child to comply with family members wishes," wrote a commenter.

"Normalizing physical affection against their wishes is setting children up for failure. Many of you need to look up who the majority of offenders are. They aren't the people walking down the street."

Others agreed. "It is such a cultural thing that we expect children to want hugs and kisses from every person they know and meet. Well they don't. We need to empower them by letting them experience their own feelings towards people they meet or know," said another.

Other parents fully supported the message behind the meme, with one writing: "Just ask the damn child if he or she would like a hug or kiss. Let them decide. My children [are] never forced. It's ridiculous and unsafe to make your children share their body."

The admins behind the Facebook page also replied to a number of comments.

"We love hugs and endorphins," they wrote. "We also love consent and the idea that children are people too and shouldn't be forced to do things against their will. It is actually incredibly important."

CAPS Hauraki also posted a similar meme with a Christmas theme, about not making children sit on Santa's lap if they're uncomfortable.

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Is the meme a bit extreme or making a good point? What have you taught your children about hugs? Join the debate over on Closer's Facebook and Twitter

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