**BREATHE **
The first thing anyone does when they’re feeling nervous or shy is to hold their breath. (The giveaway: taking very deep breaths occasionally, in an attempt to inject oxygen fast!) If you take a deep breath before speaking, it not only relaxes you, it gives you time to think. Another plus: it lowers the tone of your voice to make you sound sexier!
STAND LIKE A CONFIDENT PERSON
Pull your tummy in, lift your chest to the ceiling and square your shoulders by pulling them up to your ears, then back and down.
Now, put your hands casually on your hips and make sure your body is directly facing the person you’re talking to. This says ‘I’m giving you the best possible direct view of me because I’m happy with who I am and what I look like’. (I know, inside you’re cringing but this is all about externals, remember?)).
One final adjustment to the way you’re standing: shift your weight so it’s on one leg. Practise the pose in front of a mirror until it starts to look natural.
MEET THEIR EYE (BUT NOT CONTINUOUSLY)
This is the hardest bit because if you fancy the pants off someone you assume it’s written all over your face. You’re right in a sense because our pupils dilate and our faces soften when we’re attracted to someone, but they’re unlikely to know that!
If you’re super nervous, look between their eyes or just above them. It feels less threatening but they won’t notice.
Don’t be scared to look away. Natural eye contact involves holding someone’s eye for ten or so seconds while they’re talking and then looking away now and then.
DON’T WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE SAYING
Just talk about something that’s natural to the situation and wherever you are. Think about what you would say if your best friend was there, then tailor it to fit.
If you know they’re going to be somewhere, have a few back up conversation topics in mind so you can jump in to any awkward silences. A film you’ve just seen, festival you went to, TV show - everyday things.
DON’T WORRY IF BLUSH OR STUTTER OR LOOK AWKWARD
You’re simply letting them know you really like them. How can that possibly be offensive? It’s a compliment and most people take it that way and find nerves endearing rather than offputting.
*Do you struggle speaking to people you fancy? Let us know on Facebook and Twitter. *