‘Oh, it’s so romantic,’ people say, patting your tummy and watching you and your partner exchange soppy, loving looks.
Having a baby together is romantic – and that’s partly the reason why sex gets put on the backburner. Your partner loves you to death right now but he may see you differently: you’re no longer his gorgeous, sexy girlfriend but a mother-to-be. You’re also struggling to reconcile your ‘new’ (more responsible) self with the ‘old’ you (who loved hot, furious sex in the very room the cot’s now in).
As one of my pregnant friends told me, ‘My hormones have sent my libido through the roof but every time I feel horny, I feel guilty. It’s like, I’m meant to be a future mother and all I want to do is screw all the time. The two don’t go together.’
But they can. After the first few sickly months, a lot of women find their energy soars and that the hormones sparked by pregnancy give their libido a huge kick.
If your partner is supportive, reassuring you that you don’t look fat just pregnant, this can be one of the most sexual times in your relationship.
Most pregnant women cram their bookshelves with texts on kids and conception so I won’t go into specifics about health or harm to the baby here. But you might like to keep the following in mind.
Sex during pregnancy
1 of 6How sexy you feel depends very much on your partner’s reaction
If he embraces the whole pregnancy thing and is as excited about the first kick as you are, chances are your sex life won’t suffer too much. This is the time when you’ll feel most vulnerable about your body. If you usually run around in sprayed-on jeans and tight sweaters, you’ll start to hate anyone who still can.The perfect partner will convince you that your ‘new’ look is just as erotic and you’ll both revel in those nice, full breasts and that wonderfully big belly.
2 of 6Mothers have sex too
Let’s be honest here: motherhood doesn’t have the sexiest image and he’s been as brainwashed by society as you have. If you think he’s starting to treat you too much like a Madonna figure (the religious one not the singer), have a chat.Tell him as much as you love the thought of the baby growing inside you, you’re the same person you were before you got pregnant. Mothers have sex. So do mothers-to-be.
3 of 6No, the baby’s not listening
‘You have this weird feeling that the baby is listening and hearing everything,’ said one expectant mum. It isn’t. Can you remember your mother screaming, ‘Oh Harold, that’s fantastic’?
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4 of 6Don’t be surprised if your sexual tastes change
Before falling pregnant, you loved oral and were so-so about intercourse. Now you hate oral and love bonking or vice versa.Sometimes, you won’t want sex at all. Your body feels heavy and awkward, your doctor’s always poking and prodding, complete strangers keep putting their hands on your stomach. Sex can feel like just another intrusion at times like this.
5 of 6What if I feel more turned on than ever?
It happens – a lot. Surging hormones can cause as many erotic episodes as teary ones. While your friends are obsessing what colour to paint the baby’s bedroom, you’re obsessed with what you’re going to do in your own when Daddy-to-be comes home.Don’t waste a second feeling guilty. Enjoy! Lots of women find they orgasm more quickly and more intensely than before. Delight, don’t despair, when your body does all sorts of weird things – like spurt milk out of your nipples in the middle of a climax!
6 of 6Will I hurt the baby?
This is his top concern. All that bashing around with a penis, he figures, has to push the baby all over the place. A bit of wishful thinking on his part – it’s not that big!Your gynaecologist or any good pregnancy manual will tell you which positions are safe and when it is safe to have sex when you’re pregnant. Get professional advice when you first find out you’re pregnant to allay all your fears.