Relationships are hard, there’s no doubt about that.
And, when the going gets tough, it’s all too easy to think that throwing in the towel is the only solution.
But loving someone doesn’t just mean loving them at when they’re at their best; it means loving them when they’re at their worst, too.
So, before you decide to end your relationship completely, there are three very important questions you need to ask yourselves first.
1. Have I looked at the bigger picture?
Katherine Woodward Thomas, a family therapist writing for Mind Body Green, advises that couples sit back and look at the bigger picture before making any rash decisions.
Either with a therapist, or by yourselves, she suggests looking at the problems you believe are causing concern in your relationship.
If they’re small, manageable problems that don’t affect your long-term plans or goals, write a list of solutions that you can work on together for a happier solution.
2. Have I shared my feelings with my partner without blaming or shaming?
Sit down with your partner and, without pointing blame at them, share your true feelings about the relationship. This way, he or she has had a chance to address and rectify the problem.
Don’t skip this step and just announce the relationship is over; there could be a chance to talk things through.
3. Have I made the same effort as my partner in solving the problem?
Katherine Woodward Thomas explains: “If your partner responds to your heartfelt sharing with positive actions to try to make things better, do your best to match his or her commitment with your own.
“Instead of pulling away, allow yourself to be supported and loved by your partner and his or her efforts to meet your needs. Then see if something new emerges between you.”
In short? If you both want a relationship to work, sit down and agree on the actions you’ll both take to make amends.
While not every relationship can be saved, there is a lot that can be done through communication; sitting down and talking through your problems can help to make things better.