Everyone worries about the future - and plenty of us panic whenever our relationship hits a rocky patch.
But how do we know if our partner is worth fighting for - or whether it’s better to give up and move on?
Taking to Quora, people came forward to share the tell-tale signs that a relationship will eventually fail.
And, as all of them were speaking from personal experience, the responses were very illuminating.
Check it out…
1) They’re married
“One partner being married to someone else is usually a pretty bad sign.”
2) It’s TOO long-distance
“I’ve never been able to sustain a long distance relationship across time zones, or if it required connecting flights.”
3) They’re much older (or younger) than you
“Age gaps bigger than 1/2(age)+7 are tricky, but not always the mark of doom.”
4) Insecurity
“Constant arguments over insecurity [can kill a relationship].”
But, as you can see, these are all VERY specific - and can have different effects on your relationship, depending on your strength as a couple.
So what are the crucial signs that ANY relationship is going to fail?
Well, Michael DeBusk cited Dr John Gottman, a relationship therapist, explaining his four signs that a relationship is doomed to fail.
They are…
1) Criticism
2) Defensiveness
3) Stonewalling
4) Contempt
Mr DeBusk added that “of these, he [Dr Gottman] says, the last one is especially heinous.”
And Dr Gottman KNOWS his stuff; he spent four decades of studying couples at the Gottman Institute.
And he has revealed that the four things listed above are the key warning signs to watch out for in a relationship.
Just think of them as the symptoms of an unhealthy relationship, yeah?
Speaking to Marie Claire, Gottman researcher Mike McNulty, Ph.D. explained: “Partners who are headed towards divorce have the following tendencies: They become angry and use what we call the ‘four horsemen of the apocalypse or negative patterns of communication, which are criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness.
“This leads to something we call ‘diffuse physiological arousal’ or ‘flooding’ [which involves] one or both partners’ bodies releasing hormones as heart rates accelerate, muscles become tense, the skin becomes hot or sweaty, and the stomach feels nervous.”
That doesn’t mean, however, that couples who argue constantly are doomed to fail.
“Relationships die by ice rather than fire,” he continued. “Some couples eventually stop trying to dialogue. They find working on key conflicts to be too difficult or painful. They give up. They grow more distant, and live more like roommates than spouses.”
This means that if you and your partner are still fighting, you still have a fighting chance.
“If you’re both still arguing you haven’t yet reached the point of surrender,” he added.
Do you agree - are these the signs a relationship is doomed to fail?
Let us know via Facebook or Twitter (@CloserOnline) now.