Tracey Cox: The eight things you should NEVER tell your partner

In the throes of romance, it’s natural to want to tell your partner everything about you. From your weird ex boyfriend to that former flame’s interesting taste in bed, we love to share. But here are eight things you should apparently NEVER talk about with your partner, according to Tracey Cox.

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by Ellie Hooper |
Published on

How good your ex was in bed

Right, so few of us apparently come straight out and say our ex was amazing in the sack. But what we do do, is mention little details that are JUST as harmful to a new relationship. Mentioning things you did together, or that your new partner does something ‘just like your ex’ is NOT what the new guy wants to hear.

How good you were with ex lovers

Making it seem like you were Miss Freaky in-between the sheets with your previous flame won’t give you better relationship potential, it will simply make your new partner feel inferior, and like your current sex life is dull and boring. Not the desired effect.

Past behaviour that isn’t flattering

When telling a story about the past, we’re likely to bring up things that don’t necessarily reflect who we are now. We might spill the beans on a moment we acted out of character or when we were a little erratic. Early on, your partner doesn’t need to hear this, and it might even put him off (even when you’re a changed person now).

There are some things new partners don't need to know
There are some things new partners don't need to know

Giving exact numbers

Nobody needs to know this information. Nobody. It will make you start asking further questions and vice versa and is just something you don’t need in your head. Also, as Tracey points out, we sadly do still live in the age of the double standard. Even if your man is the most level headed, unsexist person imaginable, you don’t know how they’re going to react to the dirty details. For that reason, keep you mystery number just that - a mystery.

Favourably mentioning the same ex more than once

Forget mentioning bedtime antics, mention the same ex boyfriend/girlfriend more than once and you risk them getting seriously uneasy about this person’s role in your life (and mind). If you’re over them, leave it be.

Boasting designed to make him jealous

According to Tracey, this happens most often in the beginning stages of a relationship, when you want to test how much someone likes you. To do so, you drop in how much other men have/do want you. Sadly, what this often achieves is the opposite effect - it makes your partner feel as though you’re keeping your options open/don’t want them as much as they do you. One to refrain from.

Size doesn't need to be discussed, for starters

Any reference to size in the bedroom department

I mean, you’d have to be stupid to do this anyway, but mentioning your previous partner’s manhoods is NOT a good way to get ahead.

Pretending you’ve never had trouble climaxing before

Saying this is bound to make him feel nervous - and crap - about himself between the sheets. We often find it hard to climax with a new partner - just encourage him and explain that you just need time to get used to the way he does things.

Why you should talk about your past:

STIs

The reality of modern love is that people have often had STIs, or have them without knowing. What you NEED to know, is whether your partner has made a regular thing of going without protection, whether he’s had a recent STI test and more. Have this frank discussion before you take any risks.

Something from your past that still affects you

Our past leaves imprints on us regardless. But if you have been subjected to a sexual incident that has left a lasting impression on you, you should be able to share this with your partner.

You fear someone bad mouthing you

Got people in common who you feel may spread a malicious rumour about your past? If so you might want to get in there first, and explain to them how the situation REALLY went down.

Via DailyMail and TraceyCox.com

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