Dating advice for new couples: Hilarious ways to overcome that awkward first toilet moment

The taboos of answering the call of nature in the early stages of a relationship can be a minefield- here's some inventive and hilariously tried-and-tested ways to help ease the stress of using the loo at at your boyfriend's house. Who said romance was dead?


by Fiona Day |
Published on

****We all want our boyfriends to consider us Goddesses, but in reality we are simply women who have normal, human bodily functions. Despite this being a glaringly obvious statement, many of us find it stressful to let our bodies do their thing. Here are some coping mechanisms for those early stages of the relationship, before you're willing to show your true colours to your other half...

At your place

Put an air freshener in every toilet. This way you can eradicate any unsavoury (yet totally natural) smells to avoid any embarrassment.

If you have more than one bathroom, try and use the one furthest away from your bedroom at first to avoid embarrassment. As you get more comfortable with each other you can (hopefully) be slightly more open with each other!

At his place

It can be hard to feel 100% relaxed to let it all out (literally) when you spend the night at your new partner’s home. Many women resort to holding it in until they can get the hell out of there, which is not only really unhealthy but also not great when you’re in the honeymoon period and want to spend as much time together as possible.

You can help hide the smell by simply squirting some hand wash in the toilet. Sounds weird, but apparently it’s tried and tested!

Another option to help muffle any, erm, unpleasant noise is by cushioning yourself with some extra tissues. Just don't go overboard, you don’t want to block the toilet and potentially create more embarrassment!

Running the tap can help you prevent those blushes
Running the tap can help you prevent those blushes

On holiday

Holiday apartments can feel claustrophobic when it comes to bathroom matters. On your first holiday as a couple the bathroom walls can feel thinner than ever! If you REALLY feel like you can’t let your natural self out then the best trick is the ‘fake shower’.

Before taking a shower, let the water run as you sit and do your business. By the time your shower is done all no.2 smells will have been replaced with the scent of shampoo, conditioner or body sprays.

If you’re unable to time this then simply put some music on in your room to help you feel less self conscious. He’ll never suspect a thing!

Running the tap whilst you go also helps disguise any unattractive toilet noises. Also, a fake coughing fit is enough to cover up any unpleasant sounds- just don’t over do it or you’ll end up with your boyfriend banging at the toilet door, terrified that you’re chocking to death.

If worse comes to worse, squirt body spray or perfume over the top of any nasty smells, or better yet go old school and light a match.

In public

This is possibly the easiest spot to go 'drop the kids off at the pool' at the start of your relationship. You’re guaranteed that he won’t walk in (unless he decides to unexpectedly ‘surprise’ you at any point!).

When the call of nature turns into a minefield...

More tips...

Introduce the topic of pooping into the conversation as you're relationship gets more serious. Start by telling funny no.2 stories to help take down the barriers. It can be a sensitive topic, but we ALL go to the toilet (even Victoria's Secrets models) so why should it be taboo?

Make sure he’s not under the illusion that women don’t poop. This is just plain daft! Call him out humorously on it if he comments and make sure he feels as silly as he’s acting!

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