How to cope when your ex moves on: Relationship advice from Closer psychologist Emma Kenny

Our therapist and TV psychologist Emma Kenny is here to make sense of your emotional issues

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by Closer staff |
Published on

It’s incredibly tough to witness someone we once loved falling for another woman. Take Mezhgan Hussainy, 41, who had to watch when her ex-fiance and notorious commitment-phobe Simon Cowell, 54, welcomed a son, Eric, with Lauren Silverman, 37, earlier this year. The couple split in 2012, with Simon apparently branding the proposal a "big mistake."

But it IS possible to stay positive if you find yourself in this situation. Your ex is your ex for a reason and it’s crucial to remember that and not let bitterness take over. Simon and co proved you can get along with a former flame when all three involved holidayed together on Si's yacht this summer - along with Sinitta, of course.

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How to cope when your ex moves on: Advice from Closer psychologist Emma Kenny

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Remind yourself that you’re not put out by his new love because he was The One, but because you want to feel loved too.

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It’s easy to view a relationship through rose-tinted glasses when you can see how happy your ex is with someone else but try to remember the reasons why you’re not together. If you were right for each other, things would have worked out.

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Wish them a happy life with one another. Living with bitterness will only eat away at you and affect any future relationships.

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Don’t look back. Instead of feeling frustrated at wasting time in the relationship, feel thrilled you haven’t lost any more.

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Let go of negative energy – throw out things that remind you of your ex and get your friends round for a celebration of you.

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Don’t badmouth your ex – it will just make you seem toxic and could alienate any mutual friends.

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Remember that at some point you thought your ex was the best thing since sliced bread. Being reasonable about who he is, rather than turning him into the devil incarnate, is a well-adjusted way of dealing with any resentment

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Going forward, don’t let your past relationship define you. Take risks to become the person you really want to be. Those with the courage to try something new, regardless of whether they succeed, tend to be healthier and happier.

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