The Rock n Roll Bride is one of our absolute favourite wedding bloggers ever - not least of all because she keeps things fresh and exciting, promotes individuality, and celebrates awesomeness in all its forms.
Kat Williams set up her phenomenally successful blog when, while planning her own wedding back in 2008, she realised there was nothing out there for alternative brides.
Since then she’s launched her own line of wedding accessories AND the incredible Rock n Roll Bride magazine, which is currently the best selling bridal title in WHSmiths.
Now she’s joined the team here at Closer HQ to share her insights, advice, inspiration, and tips with you all via a brand-new monthly column.
Here’s Kat’s second instalment, which is all about tackling the sticky issue of unwanted kids at your wedding.
Trust us when we say it’s a must read…
When it comes to weddings, there is nothing more likely to open up a huge can of worms than if you decide to have an ‘adult only’ celebration.
While you’ll undoubtedly get some supporters (from parents who are thrilled to have a ‘night away’ and your friends without children who want to let their hair down) others could be pretty miffed.
The choice is, of course, 100% yours to make. And while having a child-free wedding is an easy way to scale back the guest list, if you do decide to do this, be prepared for some criticism. People tend to have VERY strong opinions when it comes to children and weddings.
Some say weddings are family events and so can’t imagine why anyone would want a wedding without kids, while others can’t comprehend why anyone would want little ones screaming the place down and pulling focus.
If you have decided to have a child-free wedding, here’s how you should go about it.
1) Tell people early
Unlike some decisions that can be left until the last minute, those related to children should be handled as early as possible. Parents will need plenty of time to find childcare and make arrangements.
Even before you send out your invitations, I’d suggest calling your guests with kids and explaining to them that your wedding won’t be child-friendly and that the invite will only extend to the adults in the family.
2) Make it clear on your invitations
While proper etiquette states that an invite is only extended to the people named on the invitation, some parents will automatically assume their kids are also invited.
If you suspect this could be the case I’d suggest also explaining somewhere on your invitations or RSVP card that it is an adult only wedding.
3) If you have to, make an excuse
This is your wedding and you are well within your right to invite (or not invite) whoever you like. However if you feel some of your guests with kids may be ‘difficult’ over your decision, there’s no harm in telling a little white lie to diffuse the situation.
You can always cite budget constraints, or space limitations at your venue as the reason, even if it's not strictly true.
4) Be firm with your decision
If you decide to have no children, then that should be the end of it. You may well be met with resistance about your decision, but if you cave at your sister’s request to bring her little ones, and your work colleagues kids aren’t allowed to attend, there could be some hurt feelings.
Be consistent and treat everybody equally.
5) Understand that some parents might not attend
Some of your guests who are parents may not be able to attend your wedding if that can’t bring their children.
It could be that they don’t want to be away from them, or they simply might not be able to get childcare.
We chose to have no children at our wedding and although some feathers were definitely ruffled (the best man’s wife refused to attend!) we were very happy with our choice. As harsh as it may sound, someone else’s feelings around our decision didn't keep us up at night, and neither should they to you.
We could have spent weeks worrying and trying to please everybody, but the reality is that you never ever can, however hard you try. Whether its children, your choice of food, or the kind of music you play, there will always be someone who'll wish you'd done something differently. But you know what? It's not their wedding, it's yours.
Remember, it's YOUR wedding and YOU'RE the one footing the bill. If they're really good friends they'll understand the choices you make. And, honestly, if they end up throwing a temper tantrum, then maybe they should stay at home with the children after all!
Kat Williams is the founder and editor-in-chief of Rock n Roll Bride, a blog and print magazine dedicated to promoting individuality within the cookie cutter wedding world. Rock n Roll Bride is all about the charm and unique nature of ordinary people’s extra-ordinary weddings.
Her passion is inspiring brides and grooms-to-be to plan the wedding that they really want in a world dedicated by tradition and big frou frou dresses.
*Issue 8 is currently available and can be purchased at WhSmiths, Sainsburys and via [rocknrollbride.com/shop](https://www.rocknrollbride.com/shop/.*
Headshot by Shell De Mar Photography.
You may also wish to read…
Rock n Roll Bride: ‘Why brides should say NO to wedding weight loss’