Social media all too often gets a bad rap. We’re addicted, it’s making us depressed, we’re all going to end up with some kind of warped claw hand from excessively refreshing our smartphones.

In many ways, I understand its negative press. My husband will tell you I’ve been cheating on him with my Facebook page and blog, The Unmumsy Mum, for the best part of two years and I have undeniably lost weeks (maybe months) of my adult life perusing friends’ status updates and photos. (This is actually quite a risky pastime, particularly when you find yourself 32 weeks deep in the Insta feed of somebody you’ve never met but somehow feel you know – one accidental double tap and they’ve caught you red-handed looking at their Center Parcs snaps from last year).

Addiction and dicey photo-stalking issues aside, I am also mindful of the unrealistic (and arguably unattainable) depiction of ‘real life’ that social media often presents us with. So much so, I once angrily typed a blog post declaring, ‘Social media is a lie! It’s utter bulls**t!’ because I found myself at temporary breaking point with a baby who shunned sleep and a toddler who refused to cooperate on any level unless enticed by a Jammie Dodger.

I was knackered, anxious and convinced I was a Big Fat Failure of Motherhood, and scrolling through the endless wall-to-wall ‘best bits’ selected for social media sharing did not alleviate those feelings. In fact, the blissful snaps of morning crafting and idyllic winter walks further heightened my suspicion that I was very much alone in my inability to enjoy every minute of the parenting adventure (something I was positive all the other mums were managing because I’d seen their #cherisheverymoment feeds). I couldn’t help but feel inadequate in comparison.

Yet deep down, I have always known that evaluating my overall maternal proficiency against the social media feeds of celebrities, strangers and the girl I sat with in Year 10 Maths is a stupid thing to do. None of us can claim to know how someone we’ve never met or haven’t spoken to in fifteen years is enjoying the ‘mum journey’ just because she has masterfully managed to get everybody smiling in their Easter bunny jumpers for a flawless snap. Of course she’s going to share the photo of everybody smiling in their Easter bunny jumpers – it’s only natural to highlight the highlights, right? Pop a Valencia filter on and you’re almost guaranteed perfection. It’s not ‘real life’ but the filtering and double filtering can get kind of addictive.

That said, I think we are starting to witness a shift in what parents share online. It’s a shift for the better, in my opinion. With a wider variety of blogs, forums and social media pages (including my page, which seems to have become a hotspot for parents documenting the not-so-glossy moments), mums no longer feel alone when they are having a crap day. Sure, there is always some serious parent-to-parent judgement to be found online (I’m confident we have at some stage all observed those threads - any article about breast or bottle feeding seems a sure-fire way to set the cat among the mummy pigeons) but most of what I see and read on a daily basis reassures me that I am ‘normal’ after all.

Stories of toddler tantrums, the outtake pictures of children refusing to smile, admissions of day-to-day failings and heartfelt stories about Postnatal Depression. Without trying to sound just a bit dramatic I have realised that on many of my darkest days as a parent social media has saved me. It’s like being part of a giant Mummy Wolf Pack where I know the other online wolves have my back when I’m struggling at 3am. Just as I have theirs.

And as for the crafting and the baking and the impeccably-dressed children on long wintry walks? Well, I’ve discovered I quite like those feeds too. Social media would soon get boring if all we ever saw was parents tearing their hair out and complaining about another Groundhog Day watching Paw Patrol. That might be real life for some (okay, that basically is my life) but it doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the merits of other blogs and accounts where there is less swearing and more moment-cherishing. Variety is the spice of online life and whatever floats your virtual boat I think you will find that solidarity from other mums on social media is there for the taking. Take it.

I am delighted to have been named Closer’s Blogger Mum of the Year. Thank you so much to anybody who took the time to vote.

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