You eat fast, or you don’t eat
Like that famous Friends quote - living with a large family can be much like living with Monica during her fat days - you eat quickly or someone else will snaffle your portion. It’s every man for himself!
Everyone talks over each other
It’s not rudeness, it’s just impossible to get everything out with this many humans chattering away. Hence why, at various points of the day, you’ll be forced to start a conversation over the top of someone else.
Leaving the house is like herding cats
Parents of one, nay two children think they have it tough, but seriously, they know nothing. Trying to get all three of them dressed and out the door on time is a military operation.
The eldest has to step up
Even if they’re not that old, you ONLY HAVE TWO HANDS, DAMMIT. So the eldest, despite their tender years, must fend for themselves as you make sure the other two don’t kill each other/themselves.
The youngest is too grown up
It’s impossible to keep the other two entertained while the youngest gurgles away, so the youngest child is unwittingly exposed to films you’d never usually show them. Perhaps it aids development?
You only get the right name on the third try
Every time. James, Jimmy, John - baaaah. (Why did I call all my children such similar names)
Your car is the most unsexy vehicle known to man
Two children families might be able to get away with a zippy little thing, but you need a big, comfortable, carrier of little people. Maybe you can get that audi when they’re 18?
No one ever considers the fifth
All day trips and cost-savings are set up for the traditional two parents, two children - meaning you’re pretty much screwed. Everything costs more.
The two eldest have a love/hate relationship with the youngest
When they first arrived they were all like ‘Whaaa?’ and tried to roll them up in a carpet, but now they’re strangely fascinated by this new being.
You're outnumbered
One child? Fine. Two children? We could still take them. Get yourself three kids and it suddenly dawns on you that there’s more of those crazy little people than sane adults. God help you.