15 cringey situations all socially-awkward mums experience

Motherland, Socially awkward mum

by Paula Greenspan |
Published on

We all know them - the super-chatty mums who actually enjoy toddler groups and make friends at the school gates on the first day of term.

And then there's you. The one looking down at her feet to avoid eye contact, who'd rather wax her own nostrils than go to a school quiz night and breaks out into a cold sweat at the mere mention of a birthday party.

If that sounds familiar, you'll know all about these 15 things socially awkward mums go through...

1. It all starts at your ante-natal group

You're expected to open up to strangers about body parts – and bodily functions - that you wouldn't even mention to your mum. By the time you realise you've said too much, you've left TMI in the rear view mirror.

Catastrophe, Socially awkward mum
Are you a mother hugger? (Credit: Chanel 4) ©Chanel 4

2. Then come the maternity leave lunches with your new mum-to-be friends

Do you kiss or hug them hello? Best to settle for an awkward half-hug that turns into a misplaced kiss on the lips. Standard.

3. When you all meet up for a coffee morning after the babies are born, somebody's baby will always smell of poo

Do you say something? God, no. Just sit there, sipping your decaf latte and feeling uncomfortable, until you can escape.

Catastrophe, Socially awkward mum
Making mum friends is HARD! (Credit: Chanel 4) ©Chanel 4

4. Ditto when one of the mums turns up with baby sick down her back

If you tell her about it you'll BOTH feel embarrassed. And you were relying on her to be the confident one.

5. If you're breastfeeding, at some point you'll answer the door to the postman with your boobs out

No amount of special delivery jokes will rescue you. Don't even bother.

6. When you manage to get dressed and out the door, walking into a busy playground is like entering a minefield

There are parents EVERYWHERE. Is it wrong to use your toddler as a human shield to avoid having to talk to them? Probably... right?

Catastrophe, Socially awkward mum
Playgrounds are a warzone (Credit: Chanel 4) ©Chanel 4

7. When your child misbehaves in public, you truly wish the ground would swallow you up

Cue awkward apologies to stern-faced mothers, and a VERY swift exit.

8. At some point, you're destined to run into one of those stern-faced mothers again

Look away, pretend you don't recognise them... and DON'T mention that incident.

9. Soft play is THE WORST

See above re: human shield and times it by 5,000.

10. Toilet training is a whole new world of fun (read: pain)

After your neighbours are sure to arrive home to find you standing outside their house with your little boy - who's weeing in their bushes – you start looking for a new house on Rightmove.

Motherland, Socially awkward mum
When your kids make friends it's a whole new hell (Credit: BBC) ©BBC

11. Your heart sinks every time your child gets invited to a birthday party

Panic! How much do you spend on a present? Do you feed your child beforehand? Do you stay and suffer chit-chat with other parents, or do a drop and run? Will they all hate you if you leave your child in their care? ARGH!

12. Remember the stern-faced mothers from the local playground? You will run into them again when your children start school together

Fantastic. Maybe your kids will be best friends and you'll get to hang out together all the time.

Motherland, Socially awkward mum
Try and avoid eye contact at all times (Credit: BBC) ©BBC

13. Talking of school – you can never find a polite way to say no to the PTA

Before you know it you've agreed to run a biscuit decorating stall at the school fair, go on the Year 1 school trip and run a charity 5K. Perfect.

14. You're secretly relieved when your own child is ill and you have to cancel social events

'Mummy's sad too,' you lie.

15. But at the end of the day, your kids will make it all feel worth it

Probably. Sometimes. In retrospect, at least.

Are you a socially awkward mum? What's the most awks situation you've been in? Let us know on Facebook or Twitter


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