READ: Single mother’s tear-jerking ‘open letter to my child’s absent parent.’

Fellow single parents need to read this.

mum daughter

by Hayley Kadrou |
Published on

Being a parent is inevitably hard. First the scary what-does-their-crying-mean first few months, followed by the terrible twos, way up into the troublesome teens and beyond, every stage of parenting faces its challenges.

Now add into the mix going at it alone as single parent, and it’s only going to be more of a struggle, and a further testament to our strength as parents when it all pays off.

In the letter posted on Reddit, the mother explains how she felt pregnant at age 22, and boldly asserts: “When I was 22, I made a lot of mistakes. You were one of them. She was not.”

In the lengthy letter, she goes on to explain:

“When I was 22… I was going through a myriad of emotional problems, not least of which was my crumbling self esteem which is, incidentally, what... led me to a one night stand with you. You gave me fake information and I was too trusting, too stupid.”

After spending the night with the stranger, the Reddit user fell pregnant – left feeling alone and terrified. After managing to track down the mystery man, he merely told the young woman: “I’m sterile,” despite him being her only sexual partner in the time frame.

pregnant woman bump sunset

As she tried to keep him up to date with her progress throughout her pregnancy, he only continued to pressure her into a termination.

“I asked you what I should tell her when she asked about her father someday.

"You said I should tell her you were a soldier who died in Iraq. You have never served in the military and I would never paint you as a hero like the people who really have died while defending this country.”

After giving up trying to reach out to the unwanting father-to-be, the expectant mother focused on the life ahead of her, little baby on the way.

And after giving birth in June 2007, she detailed how she "took to being a mom immediately."

But inevitably, the questions soon came.

“When preschool came along, she definitely noticed that other children had fathers and she didn't. I handled this by matter of factly explaining that all families are different and she accepted that answer.

"It hurt my heart to see fathers with their young children. I hurt for her, knowing that it would only get more difficult the older she got.”

Detailing how telling her daughter that her dad wanted nothing to do with her was the hardest thing she had to do, she decided to try and track him down one more time.

The mum-of-one opened up that, after extensive effort, she managed to track down the father of her baby once again. He told her if she tried to get child support, he would hire a lawyer and gain full custody of their daughter simply to spite her.

“You had nothing to say about missing 8 years of your child's life… I ended contact. You are not a good person. There is something wrong with you.

“You are a mistake. She is not.”

The proud mum went on to list how lovely, intelligent, sensitive and friendly her eight year old is - outlining all her achievements in her short life so far, and all her goals for ambitions for the future.

mum daughter

Stock image used

And that although she feels the void of a father in her life, she never ceases to impress her mother, who always worked at “being both parents” in his absence.

The Reddit user revealed that, when her daughter hurts watching her friends interact with their doting dads, and cries every time she hears Kelly Clarkson’s Piece by Piece on the radio, the single mother tells her that life is like a deck of cards; some things are going to be Aces, others simply a two.

In her touching closing message, she writes:

“You are unlikely to ever read this, but I hope someday that you are so overcome with regret that you can't stand it. I live my life without regrets. I will always be able to look back and know that I've done right by her. She will always remember who was there for her all along. I'm her Ace and you will always be just a Two. A bad card in an otherwise great hand.”

We absolutely love this testament, the strength of single parents, and the role they take on to support their child, single-handedly, day in day out.

Read the full post HERE.

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