When we we’re kids, we were all 'I’m rubber and you’re glue', but children nowadays are way more sophisticated when it comes to delivering hard-hitting cusses.
And parents have taken to Reddit to make the world aware of just how good their little ones are at taking them down a notch or two – whether they mean to or not.
Here are some of the best one we found – prepare to laugh, and feel a bit concerned about the future generation…
Bad Breath Banter
"Today my 4 year old told me ‘Your breath smells like broken floors and dirty bathrooms’.
"My wife is still laughing, I'm still crying... And brushing my teeth."
We would too...
Bald and Balling
“He's something else, my kid. He's nearly 10 now, very witty - but still doesn't have a filter.
"He had 'crazy hair day' at school, on the way there he pondered what the principal might do with his hair and then said:
"'I suggested that he paints his head yellow so he could look like a tennis ball, you know, because he's bald.'"
Insult... or genius?
‘Yo Mama's so Fat…’
"My 5 year old son: 'Mum, can fat people hop?'
"Me: 'Yes mate, they can."
"Son: 'Cool. Show me.'"
A new take on an age-old cuss.
Trash Talk
"My 3 year old, with the smartest smile on his face: "Mom?"
"Me: 'Yes, buddy?'
"'I've been thinking about it a lot, and you are a piece of garbage.'"
Well, it's the thought that counts, right?
Family Photos
"My daughter picked up a photo of the two of us when she was a baby and said:'I didn't remember that you used to be pretty.'"
Just wow.
Make-up Mishap
"Son: 'Mom, why do you put on makeup?'
"Me: 'To make myself pretty, dear.'
"Son: 'But... why isn't it working?'"
Oh dear.
Sweats Shame
"The other day, my husband and I actually went on a date. Seeing me dressed normally (jeans and shirt) my daughter gasped in shock: 'Mama! You FINALLY took off your pajamas! I didn't know you had real clothing!'
"No more yoga pants and big shirts for me. I went shopping the next day."
We feel you - PJs for the win!
Burrito Burn
"My daughter calls her uncle's girlfriend "human burrito". Kids are weird man."
Word.
Getting Mathematical
"Small child: 'Mom, how old is our house?'
"Me: 'About 30 years old, like me.'
"Small child: 'How old are you mom?'
"Me: 'I'm 35.'
"Small Child: 'You're rounding down, Mom.'"
There's no getting around this mathematical whizz.
Discovering ‘Moobs’
"My 3-year-old hasn't personally burned me, but we had the following hilarious conversation that I gleefully relayed to my husband.
"Him: 'Why do ladies have boobs?'
"Me: 'To feed their babies.'
"Him: 'Why do daddies have boobs?'
"Me: 'They don't, only ladies have boobs.'
"Him: 'Yes they do! My daddy has boobs!'"
They don't hold back, do they?
Classic Dad Jokes
"When we ask our 4 year old why she's upstairs in her room, she responded: 'I needed a break from daddy's bad jokes!'
"He felt proud that he was filling his dad joke quota."
Never to early to polish up your embarassing dad jokes, ey?
Chip on your… Foot?
"My daughter, who was 4 or 5 at the time, told me I have 'corn chip feet'. I think she was talking about my toe nails."
Time for a pedicure, we think.
Singing Sensation
"My 3 year old came to me in tears one afternoon while I was singing to myself as I made my bed.
"'Oh no, what's wrong, buddy?' I said.
"He replied: 'I sad, mama. I real real sad.'
"'Why, honey?'
"'Mama music is broken. Mama can't sing. Mama can't sing AT ALL!'
That's one way to tell someone not to audtion for the X Factor...
Rhyming Games
"My Wife was going through a major skin issue and my 4 yr old daughter was pretending to be Doc McStuffins.
"After thinking for a long time she finally said: 'I have a diagnosis! You have the case of the Itchy Bitchy.'
"She then proceeded to write 'Itchy Bitch' on at least 35 scraps of paper. I died of laughter that afternoon!"
At least her poetry skills are up to scratch, right?
Fiery Burn
"My wife and son have red hair. I told my son yesterday he was going to grow up half like me, half like my wife.
"He said: 'You mean, like a red-headed idiot?'"
"Didn't know whether to be pissed off or impressed."
It's a fine line.
Double Chin Diss
"While I was buttoning up my daughter' sleepsack, this was our conversation:
"'Daddy eyes!'
"'Yep'
"'Daddy ears!'
"'Yes sweetheart, Daddies ears.'
"'Daddy chin!'
"'Yes dear, Daddies chin.'
"'Daddy other chin!'
"Guess it's back to gym with me."
Ha! Time to renew that membership, maybe?
You Are What You Eat
"3 year old tells me:'your face looks like bread!'
"I don't even know what that's supposed to mean! Could be worse I guess!"
We're not sure either, but it's a hilarious nonetheless.
The future’s bright, right?
Do you have any to add to the list?
**Let us know on our Facebook or Twitter (@CloserOnline) page. **
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