How to help a child cope on Mother’s Day when they’ve lost their mum

Mother’s Day can be a very difficult time for children who have lost their mum. Here’s how to help them remember her on her special day:

mother’s day child bereavement grief advice tips cope

by Kayleigh Dray |
Published on

For many people, Mother’s Day is a special day to celebrate their mum.

Whether this involves bringing her flowers, or making her breakfast in bed, or buying her a special gift, or taking her out for the day, it usually involves spending time with her - and making her feel loved.

But what about children and young people who have had their mum pass away?

For them, Mother’s Day can prove to be very difficult; they are surrounded by cards, and television adverts, and posters about Mother’s Day - and these painful reminders can cause a great deal of sadness.

mother’s day child bereavement grief advice tips cope

We spoke with Winston’s Wish, the leading childhood bereavement charity in the UK, for their advice on how best to help a child who is missing their mum on Mother’s Day.

Here is what they’ve advised:

10 Ways to remember your mum on Mother’s Day

    When Jade Goody lost her battle with cervical cancer in May 2009, her ex partner Jeff Brazier was left devastated - and a single parent to grieving sons Bobby Jack and Freddy.

    He explained to The Huffington Post in 2014 that his youngest son Freddy was sent home from school after losing his temper during class, following a counselling session with Relate.

    But he quickly realised that his son's anger wasn't a sign of disobedience, it was a sign of frustration and sadness - and those were the things Jeff felt a duty to help Freddy with.

    Jeff wrote: "[It came] from a place of frustration and sadness caused by his grief, the very thing I'm supposed to be helping him and his brother disperse and manage.

    "I instantly felt responsible, this flare up would have no doubt been avoided if Mum was kept 'on the table' over the last six months […] instead of under the carpet."

    It was the wake-up call that Jeff needed - and he is now committed to helping his sons deal with their grief, not to mention help them build Jade's memory back into their lives.

    He explained that he intends to take the children to visit their mum's special place once a month.

    He has also planned "a scrapbook of photos of their mum telling them the kindest story of her life and also one that would tell them of how far they have come since they lost her, so that they can feel proud and strong in the details of their achievements...

    "I also thought it would be nice to invite Jade's mother Jackiey over to stay once every month, the boys love her immensely and she's the only prominent blood related link to their Mum they have."

    Jeff added: "In the coming few days I'll be contacting all in order to get those visits and gestures put in place so they can move forward positively, Freddy can feel less bottled-up and I can feel like I'm on top of things again."

    It is always best to help your children to remember, and to grieve, for a person they have loved and lost, rather than encourage them to bottle things up.

    Do you have any advice for people helping a bereaved child to remember their mum on Mother’s Day?

    Let us know via Facebook or Twitter (@CloserOnline) now.

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