January is the busiest time for new divorces.
For better or for worse, many people in unhappy relationships choose to make plans to separate for the New Year after having one last Christmas as a family.
This is usually because there is a lot of expectation over the holidays - and, for couples with children, there is often a strong desire to wrap up troubles (along with the presents) to ensure that the kids enjoy the festive season.
So how do you cope when you’re starting the new year under the weight of a divorce?
Sara Davison, a leading life, relationship and separation coach, explains: “Getting divorced is often referred to as the second most traumatic life experience after the death of a loved one.
“As a Divorce Coach I often wish there was a magic wand that I could wave to take away all the pain that follows, however sadly that is not possible.
“But what I can do is to show you a whole range of techniques and strategies that will help you to cope better with the divorce roller coaster and mend your broken heart faster.”
Sara Davison's top tips for dealing with a divorce:
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Treat the legal side of your divorce as a job. Leave your emotions to one side and deal with them separately. An emotional divorce will be reactive and inflammatory which won't help you in the long run. It will also be expensive!
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Understand from you legal advisor what they need from you and do your homework. There can be a lot of paperwork involved in a divorce. The more prep you can do yourself the easier and quicker it will be for your lawyer to do their job.
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Ask for regular updates on your legal bill and be clear on how and what they charge you for.
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If you are struggling to cope emotionally then so ask for help from a Divorce Coach or your GP. Stuffing your emotions down and suppressing them will cause you problems later on and may prevent you from finding love again.
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Don't allow the divorce to be all consuming. Have other things to focus on in your life outside of your divorce, as they will give you a much-needed distraction. Work, fitness, children and hobbies may seem tough to juggle at this point but they will provide you with a different focus.
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Declutter your life. A divorce is a good time to clear out things in your life that you don't need anymore. For example clothes that you never wear, a filing cabinet that has piles of bills you paid in 1998 or even friends who constantly let you down. By decluttering you are clearing the decks and making space for new opportunities... and it feels good.
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Manage your well-being. A healthy diet and regular exercise will help to keep your mind strong and better able to cope with the rollercoaster of emotions you will experience. Even a brisk walk around the block or a yoga class will help your state of mind.
Sara adds supportively: “Remember that sometimes-good things fall apart so that better things can come together.
“There is a light at the end of the tunnel and every day you keep moving forward brings you closer to it.”
***Sara Davison is an expert break-up, separation and divorce coach who developed the UK’s first Divorce Coaching program which provides individuals with the tools, techniques and advice needed to help individuals navigate and better cope with the process of divorce. ***
For more information on Sara, or to book a one to one consultation, logon to her website www.saradavison.com or follow her on Facebook (Sara Davison Divorce Coaching), Twitter (@SDDivorcecoach) and Instagram (SaraDavisonDivorceCoach) - you can also book yourself on her next break-up Retreat from the 19th – 20th of Feb 2016 via her website.