Parents divorce at all ages - and there’s no denying that it’s difficult for children to cope with.
But people often forget to lend their support to the adult children of divorce (ACODs).
Despite the fact that they are all grown up, it can be just as heartbreaking - and just as draining - for ACODs. And they have an entirely different set of circumstances to deal with.
Divorce coach Sara Davison explains: “Seeing your parents get a divorce will be challenging no matter how old you are. In fact the older you are the harder it might be to adjust and the bigger the shock because it's all you've ever known.
“If one has decided to leave the other it can cause feelings of resentment especially if one parent is more vulnerable or dependent on the other. You may find that you are left to pick up the pieces and fill in where they left off.
“Taking on responsibility for your parents can be a life changing event depending on the level of care they need. It may require you to make significant changes to your routine and on top of all that it can be emotionally traumatic to watch your parent hurt and alone so late in life.”
She adds: “You may also be subjected to hearing personal details about your parent’s love life that you would rather not know. It's ok to set the boundaries early on if you feel uncomfortable.”
So how does Sara advise that adults cope when their parents tell them they want a divorce?
Sara's top 5 tips for coping as an adult child of divorce are:
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Be as supportive as you can to both parents. Divorce is traumatic at any age.
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Set boundaries early on and don't get dragged into bad mouthing either parent.
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If one parent needs more care then organise support with their GP and local support groups so you can share the responsibility if needed.
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Whatever their reasons for splitting up later on in life it is their choice to make. Feeling guilty or angry won't change the situation so find ways to make the best of this new situation.
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Don't say or do anything that you might regret. Remember that you may not know all the facts. Parents are precious and whilst we may not always agree with them they will always be our parents.
She added: “Divorce is never easy for anyone involved but it can also lead to a happier future. Sometimes couples apart find a new sense of freedom and a jest for life that they didn't have together.
“You may find that seeing your parents happier makes up for any sadness about their divorce.”
Sara Davison** is an expert break-up, separation and divorce coach who developed the UK’s first Divorce Coaching program which provides individuals with the tools, techniques and advice needed to help individuals navigate and better cope with the process of divorce. **
**For more information on Sara, or to book a one to one consultation, logon to her website www.saradavison.com or follow her on **Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
Book yourself on her next break-up Retreat from the 19th – 20th of Feb 2016 via her website.