Divorce coach reveals: How to tackle your first holiday as a single parent

Taking the kids on holiday as a singe parent can be very daunting - especially if you are planning a getaway for the first time since your breakup.

To help you get off to a confident start, we've asked Life & Divorce Coach Sara Davison to share her advice and top tips for single parents looking for a fun-fuelled and stress-free holiday to remember.

Speaking from her own experiences, she explained: “Divorce brings many changes and becoming a single parent can be one of the toughest of the challenges to acclimatise to. I have been a single parent for nearly 5 years now and at first the idea was terrifying but now I love it and I think I'm pretty damn good at it too!

“For many people, the mere thought of travelling alone with kids is so scary that they never do it - but it’s important that you don't miss out on life experiences just because you are on your own now.”

Here are Sara’s top travel tips:

Do your research for the trip in advance.

Ask others and search on line for referrals to places geared up well for kids. Make sure the place you choose is kid friendly and there are lots of activities to do. If the kids are kept busy your holidays will be a lot more relaxing and fun for you all.

If you are concerned or have any special needs to cater for make sure in advance that you have what you need nearby.

It may be a pharmacy or even a hospital but check it all out before you book to save you any worries while you are away. If there is an emergency while you are away ensure you are not isolated. Most hotel concierges are very helpful and will do their best to assist you.

Prepare well for the journey there.

You will need activities such as books, colouring pens, puzzles, cards, iPads and games. I'm not a fan of iPads as the only option but I definitely think they are a fabulous for entertainment when you need a break as a single parent! You will also need snacks especially if your kid is a fussy eater.

Take a change of clothes for the trip for you both.

I was once on a flight to Australia when my son then aged 11 months decided to throw up all over me! I had many changes of clothes for him but not one for me so had to sit In a shiny yellow and blue sleep suit all the way to Oz!! Now I always take a change of clothes for me too.

You will also need food for the journey, especially if your kid is a fussy eater.

You need to make sure you have extra supplies in case your flight is delayed or they don't have enough food ... These both have happened to me and if you are prepared it will make it so much easier! Having a few snacks in the room you stay in that you know your kids will eat is always handy as menus can be different to the food they eat at home.

Think ahead when packing for your kids.

In some countries it gets chilly in the evening even if it is hot during the day. Take extra of everything so you don't end up using the laundry services at hotels which are notoriously expensive.

Make sure you know what your luggage limit is if you are flying

Pack heavier items that are permitted in your hand luggage to maximise room in your case.

Take some light and small toys with you for the room and also for the beach or pool.

I always take a picture photo of the toys we are taking so I have a record when I come to pack up when we leave. That way we don't leave favourite toys behind!

Set your rules and boundaries clearly with your kids from the moment you leave home.

Explain to them that you are on your own with them and will need them to listen to you and stick to the agreed rules. Go through your expectations and ask them to repeat them back to you so you know they understand.

A few of my rules are:

I also explain that it's a holiday for both of us so there will be times when I want to do some things that I enjoy too. It's good to say to expect this upfront as it makes it easier when the time arises!

Act confident - even if you don't feel it inside.

Focus on all the exciting things you will be doing with your kids and the memories you will be creating. You will also be setting a great example to them of how to carry on in life no matter what it throws at you.

Sara added: “I have experienced many reactions when arriving at hotels for the first time with my son. The worst experience was in Anguilla where the receptionist looked down at my boy and exclaimed loudly ‘but where is Daddy?!’

“It always baffles me in this day and age how staff are so out of touch with modern families. But it's all part of the experience! The trick to handling this is to put on your best smile and say ‘it's just the two of us’ and then distract your child by pointing out something to change the focus of the conversation.

“It's important to remember that children will take their lead from you. If you don't take offence they won't either. If you laugh it off, they will too. Sometimes even if it hurts you have to put your kids best interests first and suck it up.

“You are their role model and you are away to create new and happy memories, not focus on old painful ones.”

Sara added that single parents should try to keep to the same timings as their children, so that they can focus on good quality time together.

She said: “I find these holidays work best when I get on what I call ‘kid time’.

“I go to bed when my son does, get up and prep the beach bag and shower before he wakes and then spend time playing with him doing things he really loves each day.

“You will be back to reality and responsibilities soon enough so choose to maximise quality time with your children for the holiday.”

Sara finished positively: “I have had some magical trips with my son as a single parent over the years. Yes there are some challenges and yes it might be a little bit tricky at times. But the good most definitely outweighs any of these things and the memories for you and your child will last a lifetime.

“I am a huge advocate of single parent holidays with your kids. Set aside a certain amount of time each year to do it and make it happen. You will be amazed at how it strengthens your bond with your kids and what a boost it gives to your own confidence and happiness too.”

For more information on break-up, relationships or divorce coaching visit Sara Davison on www.saradavison.com or follow her on Twitter @SDDivorcecaoch

Do you have any tips to share with single parents heading on their first holiday this year? Let us know via the comments box below now.