A mumsnet user who goes the username 90schild has caused a debate when she asked other parents whether her two-year-old daughter should attend her friends birthday party without a present or not.
The mum titled her post 'advice please I'm so embarrassed,' she then went on to explain her situation: "I mean it's not one of the worst problems to have but I can't stop feeling guilty.
"My daughter (2) has a birthday party tomorrow for one of her little chums and we RSVPD all fine BUT today we had to pay out a massive bill for something that happened in our house.
"My dilemma… I can't afford a present for the birthday girls party tomorrow I have cards but there's no way I can afford a present. Do I just make up an excuse and not go?
"My daughter is too young to understand anyway but I feel guilty for not taking her and then terribly rude and guilty for taking her to the party but not getting the birthday girl anything.
"Please don't be too harsh Mumsnetters."
Some people argued that she shouldn't change her plans and should still go to the party without a present. One person commented: "Go without presents they won't even notice!"
Another wrote: "No definitely don't change your plans. The birthday girl is probably very happy excited that her special friends are coming. I would never turn somebody away from an event I was hosting just because they weren't carrying a gift when they arrived."
Someone else wrote: "I've been in your position, many years ago. I was too embarrassed to go so I feined illness. No I'm older and wiser, I say go and be honest. Say you'll get a gift come payday. She'll be delighted to see you and you really shouldn't be embarrassed at all."
Another person commented: "You are thinking of your own embarrassment, but think from the other parent's perspective. I would feel terrible if a guest cancelled because she thought bringing a present is more important than coming and celebrating. (If the other parents are like me, they are up to their elbows in plastic tat anyway and would love to not have presents…"
One user wrote: "I would say I left home in a rush and forgot to put the present in my bag."
Other Mumsnet users agreed that she shouldn't go to the party empty handed. One person wrote: "We've had a child come to our daughter's party two years running without a gift. The first year there was a very good explanation, the mum was really embarrassed and promised to get something the next week. I told her not to worry about it, under the circumstances we were delighted that the child had managed to come. Then they turned up without anything again, no explanation or apology. I couldn't quite make up my mind whether I thought it was ok or not, I was sort of thinking that even a little pack of chocolate buttons in the card would be nicer than nothing at all."
Another person argued: "Actually, party etiquette is invite = card and present. I couldn't turn up to a party without something, even a box of £1 maltesers, which mine would think is the best present ever. I do notice these things, but only because I just notice stuff in detail anyway. We had a party at our house one year, small party so only a few friends, one mum turned up and dropped and ran. They didn't bring even a small colouring book or a bag of sweets which I do think is a bit rude to be honest. It shows thought just to do something."
Someone else wrote: "I learnt my lesson very quickly my daughter went to a party I bought a small gift worth a fiver and a card and the rest of the people gave totally over the top presents worth much more, I felt awful I can tell you never again!"
However the majority of the Mumsnet suggested she re-gift a present. One person wrote: "I'd definitely take something even if it's a regifted thing."
Another wrote: "I agree with the suggestion to regift a book or get some pound shop stickers. I don't think it's on to turn up completely empty handed."
Someone else commented: "I wouldn't go with just a card. Some people can be a bit precious, also it’ll be on your mind but that's just my opinion. Can you repurpose anything? Or just claim what you (honestly) ordered online hasn't arrived yet?"
Another posted: "Does your little one have any very good condition toys she doesn't play with that you could regift?"
The mum who originally posted the message ended up making cookies and homemade play dough for her daughters friend she then wrote: " We went with our little handmade gifts and the girls had the best afternoon, I'm so happy we went it really was a great afternoon."
Aww at least her daughter had a great time in the end!
Have you ever experienced this? Would you let your child go to a party without a present? Let us know on Facebook or Twitter.
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