My long-term partner is about to turn 40 and it’s really freaking him out. He’s talking about changing careers, he wants us to move and he seems restless. I can’t help but think he’s questioning our relationship as well. What can I do to stop him leaving me for someone new? Name withheld, by email
You can’t. If he’s genuinely not happy and has been staying with you out of habit, or because he hasn’t examined his feelings too closely, then milestone birthdays often are the catalyst for a break-up. But don’t panic yet! The fact he’s talking to you about his need for change suggests to me that he’s simply letting you know how he feels and asking for some understanding or guidance. The calmer you are, the calmer he’ll be about making life-changing decisions.