I had an affair with a colleague for two years. During this time, he led me on with promises he’d leave his girlfriend, but now he tells me they’re getting married. He’s broken it off with me and swears he loves her. I am angry and feel I should warn her, but he’s threatened legal action if I do. Name withheld, by email
Let’s get this straight: you were perfectly happy having sex with this woman’s boyfriend for two years, but now he’s marrying her, suddenly you want to protect her from him? Be honest with yourself! What you really want is to hurt them both and stop her having what you wanted: a loving relationship. There’s no question this man is someone she should be warned about, but you aren’t the person to do it. Bow out, look for another job and start valuing yourself more so you don’t fall for the empty promises of married men.