1. People always, always, ALWAYS ask 'but don't you miss your kids?'
Seriously? Are you seriously asking us that question? C'mon now.
2. Getting up at 7am is considered a lie in
That's right; we get up when the kids get up too. Must. Drink. Coffee.
3. You go to work wearing stickers, glitter, and bits of your child’s breakfast on your shoulder
Sometimes digested, sometimes not. Either way, we're unbothered.
4. People say things like 'it must be so nice to get a break from the kids'
I mean, really? Are you calling this a break? Pipe down, haters.
5. You go to pull a pen out of your handbag and end up revealing a dummy / toy / used nappy / burp cloth / baby bottle / a pair of child's underpants
It's like magic, isn't it? Actual magic. Only less, you know, magical.
6. You once got to work and noticed a smear of baby poo on your hand
HOW LONG HAD IT EVEN BEEN THERE FOR?!?! HOW MANY PEOPLE NOTICED?!?!
7. You try and tell people on the phone that the strange noise they can hear in the background is static. Not, you know, your breast pump.
Hey, a mum's gotta do what a mum's gotta do!
8. You say everything clearly, loudly and in the simplest words - then suddenly realise you're speaking to your co-workers and not your children
Awkward.
9. Sometimes you forget something crucial in the morning. Like shoes that match. Or, you know, buttons on your shirt.
Style it out, man. Style. It. Out.
10. You usually end up cooking dinner in heels and a smart suit.
Nope, it wasn't by choice.
11. You rarely go on work nights out...
… or, if you do, it's not for long. You've got babies to get home to.
12. You refer to non-parents as the 'young people' of the office
Yes, apparently you've aged 44 years overnight since you became a parent.
13. Running on time is, like, the best thing ever
Seriously, it is. You could fist-bump everyone you meet on the mornings you leave the house on time.
14. Baby wipes can fix anything
Clothes, bums, desks, faces, computer keyboards… everything. God bless the baby wipe.
But it's all worth it, every last second, just to be a mummy!
N'awww.