The 30 worst wedding dresses of all time

It's white paint, that's been sprayed directly onto her body. Don't believe us? LOOK CLOSER, PEOPLE!!!

When Mama June (of Honey Boo Boo fame!) tied the knot, she opted for a camo and orange number. As you do.

We guess her groom pledged allegiance to the flag.

There are no words, really.

Orange you glad that this isn't your dress?

Make the most of your bump, Just like this pregnant bride did in her cut-out wedding gown.

This tampon-inspired number made us cry actual tears of mirth!

This woman, in a very ill-advised moment, decided to attach her newborn baby to the train of her wedding dress. And, yes, drag her down the aisle. Not cool.

Unleash your inner octopus! When else are you going to get the chance, eh?

Think pink! And leopard print. And sparkles. And ruffles.

It's a miracle of engineering, isn't it?

Apparently it's a trend. Who knew, eh?

If you're going to go sheer, go REALLY sheer. That's this bride's motto.

Green with envy? We bet you are...

Is that a...? Yes, yes it is. It's a vagina. On a wedding dress. Because why the hell not, eh?

Too much? Never. It's literally NEVER too much.

Forget the thigh-high split; that's SO yesterday. It's all about the full-body split nowadays.

This is so 80s it's positively unreal.

It's probably meant to be a pixie hood, isn't it? That's probably what it's meant to be. But the minute we see a white pointed hood, we get a VERY bad feeling in our stomachs…

Weddings are, after all, about two people joining together and becoming a team. So why wouldn't you wear a sports strip?

So many thoughts, so little time.

Look at the bottom left corner. That woman's face? Our face right now.

Why wear a dress at all? A crystal beaded thong and a smile is a great option too!

Is that Jodie Marsh? Of COURSE it's Jodie Marsh. Just check out that belt action if you don't believe us.

Love balloons? Get a balloon dress then. Be sure to avoid any pointy objects if you wear this on your big day, though…

Little Bo Peep? All she needs is a crook and a lamb, doesn't she?

Way to stand out on the dance floor, mystery bride!

Nice twist on the traditional veil.

If James Bond were to marry (again), we imagine his wife-to-be would wear something like this.

Sometimes less is more. But, you know, sometimes MORE is more.