The Rock n Roll Bride is one of our absolute favourite wedding bloggers ever - not least of all because she keeps things fresh and exciting, promotes individuality, and celebrates awesomeness in all its forms.
Kat Williams set up her phenomenally successful blog when, while planning her own wedding back in 2008, she realised there was nothing out there for alternative brides.
Since then she’s launched her own line of wedding accessories AND the incredible Rock n Roll Bride magazine, which is currently the best selling bridal title in WHSmiths.
Now she’s joined the team here at Closer HQ to share her insights, advice, inspiration, and tips with you all via a brand-new monthly column.
Here’s Kat’s first instalment, which is all about the horrifying pressure on brides to lose weight for their weddings.
Trust us when we say it’s a must read…
You only have to pick up a wedding magazine or start browsing online to realise that there’s something really wrong.
It’s hardly surprising to me that 80% of brides* say they want to lose weight for their upcoming weddings when you see what the media is filling their minds with. “Lose 10lbs in 10 days”, “Eat yourself skinny”, “Pop this magical pill and see all your fat melt away before your eyes!”
OK, so I made that last one up, but you get the jist…
While I’m not one to judge anyone who wants to look and feel better (I’ve even just started going to the gym myself!) this is a trend that not only scares the bejeebus out of me, but it’s downright dangerous.
If you are clinically overweight, or you don’t do any exercise, and you’re looking to make positive changes then I’ll be first in line cheering you on. An upcoming big event (like a wedding) can actually be a great motivator to making permanent, healthier choices. However what really irks me is the wedding industry’s bias for promoting the fact that you should be trying to lose weight for your wedding, whatever your shape or size!
Let’s look at the facts:
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The majority of the wedding magazines (other than Rock n Roll Bride of course) regularly publish articles promising fast and easy weight loss results. One of them even recently gave away a free weight loss shake with the magazine.
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The big wedding exhibitions almost always have weight loss products in the goody bags.
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It’s pretty common for bridal shop owners to ask girls if they plan to lose weight before their wedding. Some even encourage brides to order their dresses in smaller sizes in order to slim into them.
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There are umpteen weight loss or boot camp companies set up for the sole purpose of targeting brides.
AND THIS ALL REALLY BOILS MY BLOOD.
Of course I’m not saying that the media, or these companies themselves, are to blame for brides wanting to change how they look for one day. However what they do perpetuate is society’s messed up belief that thinner = better.
This needs to stop.
The message I really want you to hear is that losing weight will not alter how you feel about yourself long term. Sure, you might get into a smaller size wedding dress, but you’ll still have the same insecurities afterwards. So instead of fixating on how you can make yourself thinner, why not become obsessive about working on your self-esteem and confidence instead? The results will last much longer and if you love yourself and start to appreciate your body (rather than want to punish it) you are much more likely to make good, healthy choices.
I really want everyone who might be trying to lose weight for their wedding to question their motives. Do you want to get healthier anyway? Great! Do you plan to keep up your gym routine after the wedding? Awesome! Or do you want to slim down as fast as possible for one day and then go back to your old ways after you say “I do”?
You are a gorgeous, unique, magical babe. There is no-one else on this planet like you. Whether you’re engaged, married or single, you are loved, and your self-worth has absolutely nothing to do with your dress size, your pot belly or your bloody bingo wings.
If you’re unhappy inside, what you look like on the outside won’t make the foggiest bit of difference.
However getting more exercise will make you FEEL REALLY GREAT (hello endorphins!). Doing something because it makes you feel good should always win over putting yourself through a punishing regime because you want to look like a different person.
Plus, let’s be honest, wedding cake tastes really, really great.
I’d like to end this article with a quote from Amy whose wedding I recently featured on Rock n Roll Bride.
“My advice to other brides would be to not worry about how you’re going to look, instead worry about how you’re going to FEEL as that’s what really shows. I was a couple of months out from the wedding and got really down and disappointed in myself that I wasn’t going to look how I had originally planned too. This just made me spiral further down into a pizza vortex. Afterwards, looking at the photos, I realised I looked great and it had nothing to do with my body. It’s because I was truly happy.
“It was a light bulb moment for me and then and there I made a pact with myself that I wasn’t going to waste any more time worrying about such shit and realised it was actually incredibly selfish to make our wedding about my insecurities. My fiancé was really excited about getting us married and would have married me no matter what, but there I was slumped in the corner crying into my stuffed crust ruining the fun! Since then I’ve just focused on feeling good and thinking of nothing but how happy I am that Paul wanted me as his wife as much I wanted him as my husband. At the end of the day, that’s all that actually matters.”
*Source: A terrible bridal boot camp company that I don’t want to promote.
Kat Williams is the founder and editor-in-chief of Rock n Roll Bride, a blog and print magazine dedicated to promoting individuality within the cookie cutter wedding world. Rock n Roll Bride is all about the charm and unique nature of ordinary people’s extra-ordinary weddings.
Her passion is inspiring brides and grooms-to-be to plan the wedding that they really want in a world dedicated by tradition and big frou frou dresses.
*Issue 7 is currently available and can be purchased at WhSmiths, Sainsburys and via [rocknrollbride.com/shop](https://www.rocknrollbride.com/shop/.*
Headshot by Shell De Mar Photography.