There’s no point denying it; sex changes after you have kids.
Gone are the days of rose petals on the bed and hours of foreplay. Instead, it’s all about finding a moment when the kids are distracted, clearing toys and used nappies off the bed, and getting down and dirty in as quick a time as possible.
And don’t worry - it’s not just you.
Constance Hall, a 32-year-old artist, blogger and mum-of-four, took to Facebook yesterday to reveal the truth about having ‘parent sex’.
And it’s clearly struck a chord, as it’s now been shared over 26,000 times and has almost 103,000 likes.
The hilarious post can be read in full below:
We had "parent sex" yesterday. You know what parent sex is, it's that 3.5 minutes you get in between changing nappies...
Posted by [Constance Hall](https://www.facebook.com/Constance-Hall-1019711431407015/) on [Tuesday, January 5, 2016](https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=1061290347249123&id=1019711431407015&substory_index=0)
We had "parent sex" yesterday.
*You know what parent sex is, it's that 3.5 minutes you get in between changing nappies and making food,
where you notice that all of your kids are pretty distracted,
Where you realise it's been almost a month since you banged and are starting to feel like flat mates,
Where your husbands seduction consists of one finger pointing towards the bedroom and the other hand on his dick,
Where you position the bed to have one foot against the door because for a loud bunch of kids, yours can be pretty quiet when they're sneaking up on people,
Where no matter how hot it is you chuck the doona on top of yourselves in case someone manages to barge through and catch mummy and daddy doing "yoga" in bed,
It's a pretty romantic scene really, listening to Iggle Piggle in the back ground, knowing your days are numbered when you here the ad break.
Men are amazing and impressive creatures, by sheer determination, it's inspiring how one can manage to "finish" under such circumstances, us women, aren't always so easy.
All the while gleefully thinking about how much of a sex goddess, vixen you are and how your fella is finally going to stop being an arse for at least a whole day.
Well mine was pretty impressed, even if I just lied there, saggy boobs, baby belly pouch, hairy minge and all, he still thinks I'm amazing.*
Constance, who blogs over at The Not So Secret Life Of Us, has received an outpouring of comments from fellow parents.
“This is so true and written perfectly,” raved one.
“Hahahahaha - f**king Peppa Pig!” chortled another.
And one person, rather menacingly, wrote: “Those of you who can’t imagine this. Just wait.
“Your turn will come.”
What do you think of this post - can you relate?
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