She’s made no secret of her dread over her daughters flying the nest. And an emotional Amanda Holden, 52, could barely broach the topic recently when asked about Lexi, 18, and 12-year-old Hollie – who she shares with record producer husband, Chris Hughes – leaving home.
Speaking during an episode of her show Amanda Holden and Alan Carr’s The Italian Job with best pal Alan Carr, Amanda said, “Don’t. It’s hard. It’s so hard.
“You know what someone said to me? They said, your children, when they leave home, you then only spend, like, a year of your life with them ever again.
“They say you have 18 summers, and then you’re lucky to see them. It’s so terrible, because you wish so much of it away. When you’re a busy parent, you just go, ‘Oh god,’ or you’re like, ‘Shush’ or, ‘Hurry up’ or, ‘What?’ or you’re on your phone or you’re cooking dinner or something goes wrong or you’re like, ‘Don’t interrupt me.’
“I spend my life going, ‘Hurry up, don’t interrupt,’ and then you go, ‘Oh my gosh.’ And then turn around and they’re not even there, and they’ve gone.”
A source close to the host says, “With Lexi’s departure imminent, it’s left Amanda feeling full of regret and doubt over what she may not have done right and what she could have done better.
“While she knows her insecurities are unfounded and the girls are constantly telling her what an incredible mum she’s been and still is, she can’t help feeling this overwhelming sadness at her girls growing up and leaving her – admitting she is fearful of the loneliness she’s going to endure when the time comes.”
Last year, Amanda was left triggered by her pal Tess Daly’s Instagram post, paying tribute to her daughter Phoebe’s school days coming to an end.
Sympathising with a series of heartfelt throwback snaps which Tess, 54, shared, Amanda commented with one tearful and one heart-eyed emoji.
Just a week earlier, the emotional radio host broke down on her show while talking about her youngest daughter, Hollie, starting secondary school. “I’m not going to lie, I feel a bit depressed today,” she sobbed to her co-host, Jamie Theakston.
At the time, it was reported that fledging model Lexi – who was signed to top agency, Storm, which launched the career of supermodel Kate Moss – had been eyeing-up American universities.
The reports were sparked by a family trip to LA, which also prompted rumours that Amanda was considering uprooting the whole family to the States in the hope of cracking the US and becoming “the next Kris Jenner” as a “momager” to her fledging superstar daughters.
But after deciding to put her Stateside plans on hold and moving to the celeb hotspot of Cobham in Surrey, last month, pals say she’s praying Lexi stays close to home.
The source says, “Lexi’s still weighing up her options and is considering putting off uni to focus on her modelling career, which Amanda is supportive of.
“While she’d rather her go straight to university, she said she’d support whatever decision she makes as long as she’s happy – and doesn’t move abroad!
“Amanda is barely getting her head around Lexi moving out, so she’s hoping whatever decision she makes, she’ll still be close enough for regular visits.
“Chris has tried to console and comfort her – insisting that they still have another six years with Hollie and assuring her that girls always stay close to their mums.
“Amanda is also worried about how the empty nest could affect her family dynamic, but she’s reminding herself that it will be a fantastic opportunity for her and Chris to focus solely on each other, travel and, if anything, it will bring them even closer.”
In the lead-up to her 50th birthday in 2020, Amanda opened up about her fears of ageing, admitting, “I’ve had a proper mid-life crisis” and insisting that she “won’t grow old gracefully”.
And again on the show, the age-defying star – known for her risqué outfits on BGT– revealed her fears were starting to be realised.
“My neck’s the thing that’s starting to go a bit now,” she admitted, adding, “Necks are the bane of the family. We’ve all got quite good, young faces, but necks look a bit like ET’s.
“I see dead people in my knees. Can you see two eyes and a nose and then a mouth? I do think this one looks particularly like my nan… The only thing that upsets me is ageing knees.”
The source adds, “Amanda is constantly battling with her age and it really affects her confidence when she sees the signs of getting older – especially when she tries so hard to always look her very best and be a pin-up.
“Chris is always telling her how gorgeous she is and how she looks 20 years younger, which of course makes her feel better.
“She’s already been looking up various tweaks and procedures to reverse the signs, and is hoping that she can continue to wow with her incredible body and sexy style into her 60s and 70s.”
