Families, eh? They're enraging: your mum constantly worries about you (and makes sure you know it), your sisters still steal your clothes whenever they come over, and your kids only stop fighting when they're raiding the fridge/cupboard/your special treat drawer that No-one Should Touch.
Every family is different, yet they're all equally as annoying in the exact same way. Here's what makes yours the absolute worst.
They give far too much advice
"No, Mum, I understand what you're saying but really: we do not need to talk about birth control. Especially not mine. Yes, I understand how babies are made. You know I'm eight months' pregnant, right? Oh dear, you seem to be cutting out – yep, I'm going into a tunnel OKAY SPEAK SOON BYE."
They're incredibly over-protective
Your brother refuses to entertain the idea of you having a gentleman-friend and mutters about people not messing with his sis. You are a grown woman with many, many years of life experience under your belt. He is 12.
They're full of judgement
"GOD, Mum – you are SO embarrassing," rages your 10-year-old after you make the huge mistake of offering his friends some after-school tea and toast. "GOD. Alex's mum would never do that. Why can't I have a cool mum like his? GOD." So begins eight years of your very existence being hotly denied – unless, of course, your teen needs money and/or a lift somewhere.
They knock you down a peg or two
Oh, think you're all that with your fancy job and your excellent grip on life? Well it's never too late to Facebook-tag you in the most embarrassing baby phone we can find, missy. Yep, that one of you eating out of the dog's bowl when you were five.
And yet they'll boast about you everywhere
Scored that promotion you've been working towards for months? You may have only just shaken your boss's hand, yet somehow your family a) already know and b) have immediately run out into the street to broadcast the good news. Trust us, your aunt's hairdresser's best friend's cousin has been kept fully abreast of the situation and is currently on the blower to a skywriting company, just in case your mum's Facebook update hadn't reached enough people.
They get all up in your business
Why does it feel like you never have a moment to yourself? Ah yes, because your family are EVERYWHERE. From the toddler following you into the loo to your mother-in-law cheerily letting herself into your house and "helpfully" cleaning your kitchen, your relatives consider it their personal business to know exactly what you're up to at any given time of the day. Thanks, guys.
But they love you unconditionally
Sometimes it feels suffocating, but at least you know – for all their faults – your family will always be there for you. It would just be nice if they, y'know, maybe called first before popping over, but such is life.
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