Once again, we bring you the best films and TV shows to watch this weekend. There are plenty of new series starting, including Would I Lie To You? which will star none other than GBBO's Nadiya Hussain in the very first episode.
There's also the second Bridget Jones instalment (YAY) which comes at a good time - the third will be released in less than TWO WEEKS PEOPLE. Don't miss the start of the new series of Strictly Come Dancing which features some top celebs this year - we can't wait to snuggle up on the sofa in front of that one.
And. Poldark starts again on Sunday. Starring Aidan Turner. Mostly with his shirt removed. Thank us later.
Friday 2nd September
Would I Lie To You? (New Series), BBC1, 8.30pm
Rob Brydon leads more panel show LOLs as celebs try to decipher who is telling porky pies. Bob Mortimer and Bake Off's Nadiya Hussain (who's everywhere at the moment) kick off the tenth series.
Lady C In The Castle, ITV, 9pm
When the eccentric Lady Colin Campbell bought a 50-room derelict castle in Sussex, it was such an expensive project that she even had to do a stint in the I'm A Celebrity jungle to pay for a new roof.
So like a modern day Challenge Anneka, can Lady C and her team of workers get her castle up to scratch in time for a grand opening launching the castle as a wedding venue? The clock is ticking.
The Collection (New Series), Amazon Prime
Your next online boxset? It's probably going to be this 1940s-set dramarama about a fashion house asked to make Paris the centre of the fashinista world again.
Hotties Richard Coyle and Tom Riley play two brothers, while there's also a certain Mamie Gummer in the cast – she's Meryl Streep's daughter don't-you-know…
Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason, ITV, 10.40pm
You know the drill on this one, but it's still a must-watch. Bridget is starting to get bored with her domesticated life with Mark, but a chance meeting with Daniel (Hugh Grant) sees her jet off to Thailand, which quickly turns into the trip from hell.
Saturday 3rd September
Strictly Come Dancing (New Series), BBC1, 6.50pm
Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-taaaa! We could not be more excited about the return of Strictly, and Tess and Clauds are back with 15 more willing (well, semi-willing) celebs about to go on a serious 'journey' into the world of ballroom.
Judges Len, Craig, Bruno and Darcey are in position (although it's Len's final year in the head judge's chair, sob!), and tonight's launch show is when the celebs find out who they'll be dancing with. There are new profesh dancers to look out for, too – and the competition proper starts in three weeks' time after they've had a little practise.
BOX-OUT:
This year’s faaaabulous line-up of starry types include Will Young, Laura Whitmore, Louise Redknapp, model Daisy Lowe, singer Anastacia, Judge Rinder, Lesley Joseph, Greg Rutherford and Tameka Empson (Kim Fox in ‘Enders).
The X Factor, ITV, 8/8.05pm - Saturday & Sunday
We're still in the early stages and the jury is still out over the return of Louis and Shazza to the judge's panel. We like the closed auditions though, and Simon's designer stubble. Plus Sharon looks so much better without the mad red hair. Don't forget The Xtra Factor as well, with new host Rylan plus his teeth. And Dermot – now this IS a good idea. Who on earth doesn't heart Dermot?
Newzoids (New Series), ITV, 9.15pm
Jeremy Corbyn, Adele, The X Factor judges, Bear Grylls and Danny Dyer – just some of the celebs getting the treatment in the fab new series of this 'modern day Spitting Image' which pokes fun at celebs (basically turning them into puppets, with the likes of Jon Culshaw and Debra Stephenson doing the voices). Fun!
Sunday 4th September
Hugo, E4, 3.30pm
This is set in 1930s Paris, and is about orphan boy Hugo who lives in the walls of a train station. His friend is a mechanical man – but Hugo (who fixes clocks and other gadgets) needs to find a special key to unlock whatever secret his tiny pal holds, and he's helped along the way by shopkeeper Melies.
Roald Dahl’s Most Marvellous Book, Channel 4, 6.30pm
To mark what would’ve been the great man's 100th birthday, C4 celebrates Roald Dahl's work with this – a rundown of 10 of his best-selling books, with celebs like Steven Spielberg, Johnny Vegas, Julie Walters and Jarvis Cocker waxing lyrical before we're given an opportunity to vote for our fave via Twitter. David Walliams hosts.
OVER TO DAVID…
Did you have a favourite Roald Dahl book growing up?
Charlie was really special to me, because it was the first one I read. I like The Twits as well because it's so unusual to have a children's book without any children in it.
How's the voting on this programme going to work?
It's all going to be done on Twitter – the public can vote using a different hashtag for each of the featured books. It's a bummer for people not on Twitter, but it's a really interesting way of doing it and I'll be fascinated to find out what are people's favourites.
Poldark (New Series), BBC1, 9pm
The last time we saw Ross Poldark he was being led away by the redcoats – those luscious locks swishing in the wind - accused of murder. Out on bail, he's certain that he won't hang, but his arch-enemy George is out to make him pay for the shipwreck and hires a private detective to nail him.
Aside from lots of beautiful people looking wistfully into the middle distance and shouting, 'What is the meaning of this?!' and the like, Midsomer fave John Nettles joins the cast as a wealthy landowner, while his niece and her wet wannabe husband Unwin also complete the Nampara Valley massive.
DID YOU KNOW? Eleanor Tomlinson, who plays the lovely Demelza, says she is so used to dying her hair red that she wants to keep it. "I love it," she says.
"I've dyed my hair every colour under the sun but I think this is my favourite. I'll definitely keep it, I gain a certain confidence by having it and I like that."
Victoria, ITV, 9pm
Reverting to one Sunday episode a week now, we see much sashaying about in ballrooms again, but there are sly looks behind the scenes as everyone is trying to pair the young queen off with their preferred young buck. Vic only has eyes for one man however – Melbourne – but she can't have him. Her dashing cousin Albert arrives from Germany, and not a moment too soon.
The Wolf Of Wall Street, Channel 4, 9.30PM
This much-hyped film from 2013 is based on the true story of Jordan Belfort, who went from being a wealthy stock-broker living it up to a life involving crime, corruption and the federal government.
The real-life Jordan served 22 months in prison for defrauding investors in a massive 1990s securities scam that involved widespread corruption on Wall Street and in the banking world. It's directed by Martin Scorsese – obvs a massive film bigwig….
Did You Know? This film got criticised by disability-rights groups for a scene where Lovely Leo reaches "celebral palsy stage" after him and his cronies imbide Quaaludes – a long-banned sedative with apparent devastating consequences if taken in high doses.
What will you be tuning into? Let us know over on Facebook and Twitter (@CloserOnline)