Shopping for bras is an utterly soul-destroying experience
If you EVER go searching for anything above a D cup in a mainstream shop, you're in for a world of beige despair. Yeah, beige - that's the standard colour for big boobed women in M&S, y'know.
Unless you go to a specialist bra shop, which costs, like, a squillion pounds.
Who even needs well-supported mammary glands anyway?
Forget wearing anything with buttons - especially to the office.
Yup, they escape. BUTTONS CANNOT HOLD BACK THESE DEMON BOSOMS!
It's almost impossible to wear anything that doesn't draw attention to them.
Minus, you know, a big old sack. And who wants to wear that?
Finding the perfect dress is extremely difficult
Tunics make us look pregnant, anything with built-in cups is a hopeless cause , we can't do backless - or strapless - annnnd don't even get us started on the empire line.
It's basically like the fashion world hates you.
Is it so hard to accept that boobs exist, fashion people? IS IT REALLY?!?!
The majority of people talk to the boobs, rather than the actual face
Women included.
Which sometimes drives you to sassily call people out on their boob-staring antics.
"HEY MAN, THEY HAVEN'T LEARNED TO SPEAK YET!"
Ever been the subject of an accidental boob graze?
Erm, yeah - of course you have.
Or gotten the boob sweats?
Summer is a cruel mistress.
Or knocked into something with your bazingas?
We repeat once more with feeling: of course you have.
Or had people look at your boobs like they were terrifying weapons of mass destruction?
They're not going to hurt you… much.
Occasionally - fine, all the time - you lose food down your cleavage
Those crumbs might make them stronger and mightier, we guess.
Running up stairs with boobs is the worst thing in the world ever
"Just got slapped in the face by my own tits. Awkward."
But sports bras are like a GIFT FROM GOD!
Getting them on is tough ("BREATHE IN! SUCK. IT. IN. DAMN IT, WHY WON'T YOU CLASP, SHE-DEMON?") but they results are insanely cool. Sure, the boobs wibble about... but they don't wibble as much. Which means we can go running, if we really want to.
We never really want to.
We should probably wear those divine sports bras when we go out dancing really…
But then we wouldn't be able to wear a nice dress. WHY ARE YOU SO CRUEL, WORLD?
So it's fair enough that, just sometimes, you can't take it when people stare at your boobs wistfully and sigh: "Oh my god, you're so lucky…"
Seriously dudes, shut the eff up.
But, despite all of these little irks, you love your lovely lady lumps
You 100% shouldn't waste time wishing you were bigger or smaller - everyone has their own booby-related problems. Learn to love the body you're in - and try to buy a good supportive bra.
Peace out!