The first thing you do when you see someone cute is look them up on Facebook
"Hello, future husband..."
You don't even need their NAME to find them!
Seriously, that's creepy… and also quite useful. We think MI5 may have a job for you…
Best feeling ever? When your crush's profile is set to public.
"Look at all this free information!"
And the worst feeling ever? When there's a girl in their profile photo.
"Erm, who is she? WHO IS SHE?! WHERE DID HE FIND HER?!"
It's okay though… maybe she's, like, his cousin or something…
"Hey, sometimes people are really, really, really very close to their cousins… aren't they?"
Oops! Now you're accidentally following his sister
"That's hella awkward. Maybe she hasn't noticed. Please GOD let her not have noticed!"
And you've set his name as your status…
"DELETE! DELETE! DELEEEEEEEETE!!!"
When you're finally introduced in person, you can't help blurting out something you couldn't possibly know…
"OH MY GOD, WE HAVE THE SAME F**KING BIRTHDAY!"
You have to feign surprise when they tell you about their weekend
What she said.
You can't help but correct people when they say something incorrect about your beloved - even if you're not supposed to be listening.
"He doesn't even have a cat!"
And, if anyone ever asks to borrow your laptop, you just have to hope and pray that your Facebook isn't just sitting on their profile…
"Seriously dude, you don't wanna touch that…"
Blocking you only makes you stronger. And crazier.
"BLOCK ME, WILL YOU?! TRY BLOCKING ALL SEVENTEEN OF MY FAKE ACCOUNTS!!!"
Happy stalking!
