So you've decided to go shopping on Black Friday.
Rather you than us, but whatever.
You've woken up especially early to beat the crowds
5am is too early to function, but whatever.
You've enlisted the help of a few trusted friends
Alone, we are weak. Together, we are STRONG.
You've nabbed the very last parking space
How cool are you? Ice cold, that's how!
And, all the while, you've been busy imagining EXACTLY how you want your little retail outing to go.
"Oh my god, I'm going to get ALL of my Christmas shopping done for a fraction of the price - yay!"
But the reality is just a teeny-weeny bit different from your expectations…
THERE'S NO MUFASA TO SAVE YOU FROM THIS STAMPEDE, SIMBA!!!
Because, let's face it, people go absolutely insane on Black Friday.
Legitimately insane.
And everyone, despite your horrific 5am wake-up call, was up earlier than you.
Losers.
So you try to blend in…
"Bargaaaaaains…"
But, y'know, there's a lot to take in and a lot of crazies to deal with.
Take a moment and try to breath. It'll be okay. Probably.
Not to mention so many amazing bargains - bargains you don't even want or need - that keep grabbing your attention
SUCH a big deal can't be ignored - even if you don't actually need five new televisions, y'know?
You get separated from your friends
Probably won't ever see them again, y'know. But it's fine, because deals.
You discover a previously unrealised violent side when you spot someone reaching for the very last item on the shelf…
You don't know what came over you, really.
And you really, really, REALLY lose your cool when people cut the queues
"GET TO THE BACK OF THE DAMN LINE BEFORE I HUUUUUUUUURT YOU!!!"
At the end of it all, you can't help but celebrate your savvy shopping skills
"I SAVED SO MUCH MONEY, GUYS!!!"
Except, y'know, you still spent all your money
We hope you've already bagged that Christmas turkey, or it's going to be a lean, lean Christmas in your house this year.
Too bad we've got to do it all again on Cyber Monday, eh?
Good grief. At least we can keep our PJs on for that one, eh?