There’s nothing like a good, long, hard study to find out what truly keeps passion alive – and the latest look into sexual satisfaction has proved very revealing indeed.
Researchers from Chapman University, California, nosed into the sexual habits and experiences of heterosexual couples to see if there was any common behaviour that made people feel happy with their bedroom activity long after the initial spark had faded.
As it turns out, of the 38,747 people surveyed, all of whom have been in a relationship for three years or longer, there was a clear pattern of behaviour
that distinguished the satisfied from the not-so-much.
We'll start by saying, don’t skip foreplay, OK?
The rest of the results weren't so shocking either; the more oral sex recieved, the more satisfied. Consistent orgasms? You guessed it, more passion reported. Regular intercourse? Yep, that's a winner.
And as always, communication is key.
Simply put, study author David Frederick ph.D and assistant professor of psychology at the university, said:
"Sexual satisfaction and maintenance of passion were higher among people who had sex more frequently, received more oral sex, had more consistent orgasms, incorporated more variety of sexual acts, took the time to set a mood and practiced effective sexual communication.”
Other key findings were as follows:
• More satisfied partners were likelier to describe the last sexual engagement with their partner as "passionate," "loving and tender," or "playful."
• Half of dissatisfied women (43 per cent) described their last intercourse as “going through the motions for my partner's sake.” Only 13 per cent of dissatisfied men had the same response.
• Approximately half of both satisfied men and women said their last sexual experience lasted more than 30 minutes – so timing really *is *key!
• Satisfied people were more likely than dissatisfied lovers to have: discussed or acted on fantasies, bathed together, given/received massages, indulged in a romantic getaway, tried a new position, had a sexual date night, and tried a sex toy together.
• Two-thirds of satisfied men compared with half of women reported feeling as much desire, or more desire, for their partner now as in the beginning of the relationship.
• Two-thirds of men and women who still felt the passion said they felt similar or more emotional closeness when having sex now than during the first six months of their relationship.
Interestingly, of the sample, half reported reading magazine articles and books in order to boost their sex lives, but only a further half of this sample followed the advice. The result? You guessed it – some very satisfied lovers!
"Almost half of satisfied and dissatisfied couples read sexual self-help books and magazine articles, but what set sexually satisfied couples apart was that they actually tried some of the ideas,” said Frederick.
So it’s clear that falling into a routine and taking your partner for granted leads to less satisfaction as your relationship goes on. So it’s time to re-ignite the passion and try something new!
After all, he who heeds our advice, wins!
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