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Do you find yourself preoccupied with your seemingly endless amount of worries? Therapist Marisa Peer has some positive steps to take if you find yourself becoming overwhelmed.
Marisa says: "If your life is spoiled by worrying and it stops you living life to the full it is worth remembering that statistically only 4% of the issues you worry about are ever likely to occur. It’s also important to understand that your minds only ever respond to two things -the pictures you make in your head and the words you say to yourselves and you are free to change those at any time.
"If you worry about flying, or get stressed if your partner is late home, it is because you are putting the wrong images into your head, and your mind then responds as if those images are your reality.
"People who worry about getting ill or worry about things going wrong like losing their job or their relationship not working out, think about it a lot and spend too much of their day filling their heads with unwanted images and thoughts ( which their brain responds to as if the scenarios they are seeing are already occurring), without even realising what they are doing or knowing how to stop it.
"The way to stop worrying is to focus your mind on other things . Your mind is unable to focus on two conflicting emotions at the same time time, so when you fill it up with positive thoughts you are unable to simultaneously think worrying thoughts.
"Therefore if you think your relationship won’t work, instead of stressing that he may leave you or be unfaithful while on a boys weekend away, remind yourself of all the reasons he chose to be with you. Think of all the compliments he has given you and what is good about the two of you together, because as long as you are putting these images into your head you cant be putting the negative ones in.”
How to stop worrying
How to stop worrying- Marisa Peer
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"Maybe you believe that if you focus on the worst possible outcome you are somehow controlling what life sends your way. This is not helpful and just fills your body up with cortisone and adrenaline. You can decide to stop punishing your body with worry and to take actions that help you instead."
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"Worrying is a way of letting your imagination run riot and fearing the things you feel you can't control. However, the only thing we can really control are or thoughts and once you take control of these everything falls into place."
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"When you make your thoughts positive your life is so much much better. Remember you ALWAYS have a choice - you can rationalise why things may go wrong and worry or you can talk yourself out of it and feel much better."
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"Find a tune with some positive lyrics and sing it to yourself - boxers walk into the ring to positive lyrics and all politicians use them at rallies because they quickly change your state. The songs Perfect Day, Everything's Going to be Alright and Having the Time of my Life all have anti worrying words, so just pick a few lines and hum them to yourself. It fills your mind up with positive thoughts and moves you away form worrying ones."
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"Write your worries down. Seeing them on paper means you have let them go and also as you write them you realise how very unlikely they are to ever occur."
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"Decide you can only worry for five minutes a day. During that time you can share your worries with other people, but after five minutes you have to stop and save the rest until tomorrow."
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"Look back at all the things you worried about 10 years ago and you will see most of your worries did not occur. Even if they did, you got over them and moved on, so decide to refuse to waste time worrying (apart from your allocated five minutes a day)."
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"Say to yourself 'I have phenomenal coping skills'. Make it your mantra and repeat it to yourself all the time, as once you tell your mind this you feel calm, peaceful and in control wheres someone who says I can't cope feels panicky, anxious and out of control ."
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"Some very simple and practical ways to stop ruminating [repeatedly mulling over a worry] are to listen to sounds of nature tinkling. Water sounds are very soothing, so buy a small water feature or play sounds of running water on your laptop as it quickly relaxes your mind. The sound of birdsong is also relaxing."
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"Thinking about being on a beach - listening to the water, and feeling the warmth on your skin - is a foetal memory of being in the womb, which we find deeply relaxing. Use meditation and put a beach scene in your mind helps you to stay calm."
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"Even when a worry is valid i.e your children are late home and you can't reach them, your worrying does not help the situation. Instead try mindfulness - you can mentally communicate with them and tell them to call you. When you think about someone they often pick up your thoughts and instead of feeling helpless you feel as if you are doing something practical, which lessens worry significantly. Imagine them coming home safely - see them walking through the door."