*The problem: Struggling to unwind ***
*The solution: Headspace mobile app (free from the App Store). *
Celebrity fans include Emma Watson, Davina McCall and Gwyneth Paltrow
Jemma Wisdom, 37, is a freelance PR from Beacon Hill, Surrey.
“Like most mums, I have very little time for myself. My husband Scott, 39, works away during the week, and my life feels like a hamster wheel! I get up, feed the dogs, get my kids, Stevie, 8, and Clement, 7, to school, walk the dogs, tidy up and then start work. I felt overwhelmed and desperate to carve out some ‘me time.’
“The Headspace app offers pre-recorded, guided meditations, which you listen to on your phone. They’re designed to help you focus more and stress less. I loved the convenience, because you can do the meditations anywhere using headphones, plus they’re only 10 minutes and the narrator (founder Andy Puddicombe) has a relaxing voice. I tried my first one before a work trip and I didn’t think I’d be able to focus as I had a huge to-do list. But I lost myself in it and felt more at ease afterwards. The simple meditations help clear your mind by asking you to concentrate on your breathing and your body. I meditated every evening after I’d put the kids to bed, to wind down, and, after a few weeks, I was sleeping better and felt calmer and more positive.”
The problem: Addicted to technology
*The solution: Adult colouring books: Calming Colouring Pattern by Graham Leslie McCallum (£6.99 Amazon) and Millie Marotta’s Tropical Wonderland (£4.99 Amazon). *
Celeb colouring fans include New Girl’s Zooey Deschanel
Rebecca Smith, 25, from London, is single and works as a commercial analyst.
“As soon as I wake up, I start surfing news websites, then I’ll check Facebook, WhatsApp and Instagram. Before I know it, I’ve spent 45 minutes lying in bed. Like most people my age, I panic when I don’t have my mobile, and social media can just fuel paranoia and envy. You have to remind yourself that just because someone else’s life looks better in a photo, it doesn’t mean it is – they’ve just taken a nice holiday pic!
“I also use a computer at work, so my entire day is filled with screen time and I needed to find a different way to switch off, so I tried art therapy books – colouring in books for adults. Initially, I had to make myself sit down and focus, so it took a few days to get into it, but then it became more natural. After dinner I’d put my phone away, then I’d sit at the kitchen table with a cup of tea, colouring in the intricate designs. Half an hour would go by without me realising and I found it creative and relaxing. I didn’t have the same urge to keep checking my phone and I’ve been sleeping better.
“I feel more content and less bothered about what’s happening on Facebook. It’s made me focus more on my life and enjoy living in the moment, as opposed to dwelling on what other people are doing.”
*The problem: Overthinking ***
*The solution
Celeb fans include Oprah, Annie Lennox and Ellen Degeneres
Lydie Billat, 38, is an accountant from London.
“I mull things over too much, so I end up letting people influence me, then I get mad at myself for having let them! For instance, I had my kitchen renovated recently and nearly let the builder push me in a completely different direction as I was being indecisive. The Power Of Now promises to put an end to emotional angst by teaching you to live in the present. It also focuses on not worrying about being judged. I think we all make assumptions about what other people think of us and, most of the time, we’re wrong. Basically, it’s about stripping it back to what you know rather than what you imagine.
“This book has been hyped, but I’d have preferred something more reader-friendly and practical. It can also be dark (there’s a lot of talk about pain) and the tone is quite religious. I think it’s best suited to someone facing major relationship challenges or who struggles with social anxiety. I liked the core message of seizing the day, though, and that you shouldn’t dwell on the past.”
The problem: Getting the right work/life balance
The solution: Daily Greatness Journal: A Practical Guide For Consciously Creating Your Days (£25.14 from Amazon)
Helen Allen, 35, from Congleton in Cheshire, owns bridal boutique 7th Heaven.
“Work spilling over into family time is a huge problem. I struggle to let colleagues take charge and, when I’m at home, I feel guilty when I tell my kids – Joseph, five, and Jude, three – to ‘hang on’ while I send an email. The Daily Greatness Journal offers to help you manage your time and focus on putting good intentions into practice. I got up 10 minutes early to fill it out and found it helped me start each day positively. As well as helping you plan your day, it contains inspirational quotes and asks daily questions that force you to think about how you could manage things better – for example, ‘What is the best course of action today?’
“I loved the ‘appreciation and gratitude list’ where you’re asked to write down the things you’re grateful for. It makes you reflect on the good aspects of life. It made me think, ‘I’m actually pretty happy, the kids are well, I’m grateful for all the help I get!’ As well as the positive things, you’re asked to question anything that’s gone wrong that day and how you can learn from it. It felt more positive than just having a glass of wine and going to bed.
"Writing things down helped me be more disciplined at work and more organised at home, so I compartmentalised my time better. It meant it was easier for me to leave my ‘work head’ at the shop and focus on my family in the evenings. I felt more relaxed and I also loved the ritual of writing in a journal instead of typing on a device.”
The problem: Craves more confidence
*The solution: Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers (£6.29 Amazon). *
Celeb fans include actress Julie Walters and ex-Jimmy Choo boss Tamara Mellon
Rachel Lunnon, 43, from Wells, Somerset, is single and works as a cardiac nurse.
“This book is good for anyone who’s scared of change – it aims to give readers the tools to conquer their fears and live the life they want. I take a long time to make decisions and my lack of self-belief can hold me back – for example, I’ve often thought about travelling alone but never have. The idea behind the book is simple – the only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it. It encourages you to be proactive and emphasises that you can’t blame being stuck in a rut on other people – you’re responsible for your own happiness. And while you can’t change people, you can change how you react to them.
“I liked the book’s positive affirmations, which you’re encouraged to repeat to yourself. For example, ‘Whatever happens, I’ll handle it’ and ‘I’m not a failure if I don’t make it, I’m a success because I try.’ The best message I took was not to be scared of making a wrong decision as sometimes making no decision can keep you static and unhappy. I’m looking at booking a trip on my own in the new year and the book has made me realise that, even if it doesn’t go exactly as planned, the sense of achievement will make it a success.”
The problem: Too much clutter
The solution: The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying by Marie Kondo (£7.69 from Amazon)
Fiona Higney, 41, is an event planner from London.
“I found this book inspirational. I hang on to things like clothes, paperwork and magazines, shove them into a cupboard and try to forget about them. The author, Marie Kondo, believes we have too many possessions and it weighs us down, preventing us from moving forward emotionally and practically. If you have a tidy space you can focus on the things that are really important.
“Her method involves touching and speaking to possessions, and asking yourself if they spark joy, which I felt a bit silly doing. The idea is that you’ll know instantly if they make you happy and, if they don’t, you put them in the throwaway pile. She recommends tidying by category instead of by room, breaking it down into clothes, books, trinkets and papers and, finally, sentimental items like mementos. I started with my dresses. There were a few I had an emotional attachment to – one in particular I’d worn to a wedding, but it didn’t fit any more. I thanked it for giving me a great time and said I didn’t need it any more!
“I cut my wardrobe down by two thirds and felt energised after. When it came to paperwork, the bits I didn’t want to discard were all linked to interior design, which underlined to me that’s what I want to do with my future, so I’ve now booked on to a course. It definitely helped me get rid of the old and welcome the new.”
The problem: Being demotivated
The solution: How To Change Everything By Changing Nothing by Jenny La Fontaine (£8 Amazon)
Hannah Ward, 25, from Pickering, North Yorkshire, is single and works for a restaurant chain.
“I’ve had to wait months for my role at work to change, from an admin job to front of house hospitality. I’ve found the wait frustrating and demotivating. I feel like I can’t get stuck into anything else – it’s like being in limbo – and it’s crept into other areas of my life. I like being challenged, but I’ve felt stuck in a rut.
“How To Change Everything By Changing Nothing offers to help you depend less on the outside world for happiness and find joy from within. I did find it taught me to be calmer and not to expect everything at once. It compares life to throwing seeds in the ground – some of them will fall on fertile soil and grow, but others will fall on rocky terrain and won’t. It’s about letting things evolve rather than worrying and trying to change things you have no power over. The religious overtones might not appeal and I think it’s more suited to someone who’s had more go wrong, like a painful split. But it’s made me realise I don’t have to constantly make things happen to feel as if I’m moving forward, and that it’s OK to let life unfold.”
The problem: Time-poor mum on the run
The solution: Walking meditations mobile app (£1.49 from the App Store). Celeb fans include media guru Arianna Huffington
Michelle Simmons-Mears, 34, from Haslemere in Surrey, runs anti-ageing beauty company Cult 51 with husband Richard www.cult51.com . They have two children, Callum, five, and Grace, 22 months
“I’d like to be able to relieve stress, so that when I close my office door in the evening I can forget about work and concentrate on family. It would be nice to talk to my husband Richard about something other than work, but it’s hard when we work together and our office is based at home!
“I wanted to create a transition period in the evening to help ease me into family time. I liked the idea of this app because, as well as having very little spare time, I enjoy being active and love the gym, but it doesn’t necessarily relax me.
“The app has three guided walking meditations – the first draws your attention to your environment as well as how you feel inside, the second brings your attention back to your own body, and the third focuses on what you can see, hear, smell and feel. Each meditation is between 16 and18 minutes long, which means it’s far easier to squeeze into your day than a gym session. The pauses between instruction and periods of silence are good and give you time to absorb and reflect.
“I used the app at lunchtime and after I’d put the kids to bed. I even used it on holiday in Mexico because I was still fielding work emails, so it helped to take walks along the beach, listening to the app.
“A lot of working mums collapse on the sofa at night with a glass of wine to help them unwind, but this could be a good alternative – at least some of the time!”
The problem: Needs to de-stress
She solution: Pip – an interactive stress management device (£145 from Amazon).
Emma Norris, 38, is a part-time occupational therapist from Allerton Bywater, West Yorkshire. She’s married to Paul and they have two children, Phoebe, three, and Daisy, 15 months.
“My working pattern is quite stressful – I work alternate days and on my days off I’m at home with the kids. It’s a challenge to switch my head between the two – fun Mummy one day and then professional person the next. My job also carries a lot of responsibility, working with people who have mental health issues. I advise them on stress management, but I find it hard to take my own advice! Being a mum is the best job ever but, as anyone with kids knows, the day-to-day stresses can wear you down – I find myself counting to 10 a lot!
“I downloaded four apps on my phone to use with Pip – a mix of relaxation exercises, mindfulness videos and games. It’s easy to use – you just put your index finger and thumb on the sensor (which monitors stress levels) and then hook up to your chosen app. I liked The Pip Tracker app, which trains your brain to relax – holding the device, you look at the screen, which is red at the top and green at bottom. The colours alter depending on how stressed you’re feeling – more red appears if you’re anxious, more green if you’re relaxing and focusing on your breathing.
“There’s also a stress tracker graph that gives useful results over a period of time – you can see where you started and where you’ve got to, and on which days you felt more stressed, so you can think about why.
“On the downside, it’s quite pricey, but then so is a gym membership and your mental wellbeing is just as important as your physical health.
“It’s improved my ability to relax at home and be more mindful, and I’m determined to carry on with it to manage stress long term.”
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(Stock images used)