How to be more confident so you can transform your life

Celebs Go Dating star and life coach Anna Williamson shares her top tips for becoming your best, most confident self


by Nathan Katnoria |

Confidence doesn’t come naturally to everyone. Sometimes it can feel like everyone else is so sure of themselves and breeze their way through life knowing exactly what they want and how to get it while you’re still trying to find some sense of self-belief. Learning how to be more confident in life, whether that's confidence in yourself or body confidence, is definitely not an easy process, but if you’re wondering where to begin, Celebs Go Dating star and life coach Anna Williamson has shared her three top tips.

Reality TV fans will recognise Anna as one of the E4 show’s relationship gurus alongside Paul Carrick Brunson, but she’s also a qualified counsellor, life coach and Master NLP who offers cost effective, stigma-free coaching for relationships in easy to watch coaching ‘plans’ on The Relationship Place.

how to be more confident in life
Anna Williamson is a qualified counsellor, life coach and Master NLP ©James Rudland

Speaking about the importance of being confident, Anna says, “Confidence is so important for our well-being and general happiness in life, but so many people struggle with their self-esteem and self-confidence. When we have a healthy positive level of confidence, we tend to see a chain reaction when it comes to life satisfaction, contentment, and high self-esteem.”

Here are Anna’s top tips to improve your confidence and transform your life:

Explore and embrace what you’re great at

We are all good at something and it might be that you need to think outside the box. Not everybody is academic, or creative, or has amazing interpersonal skills, but you will definitely be great at something. So what is that? Maybe it’s cooking, or being a great listener, or being talented at a certain sport or activity. Identify it, celebrate it, and let that be your confidence boosting USP. You’ll also find that if you enjoy it, it will naturally breed confidence.

Ditch the ‘mood hoovers’

Instead of spending your time around people that make you feel bad about yourself or drag you down emotionally, surround yourself with people who recognise how great you are and who enjoy your company and friendship. The five people closest to you should be the people that make you feel loved unconditionally, and/or inspire you and light you up.

Don’t be a people pleaser

It can be hugely empowering to say ‘no’ from time to time, it also takes a huge amount of confidence and self-esteem to say it proudly without shrinking and worrying what that person might think of you. Try putting yourself first and your needs, that’s not to say you should be a selfish so-and-so but being confident means that you are doing things to make yourself feel happy and valued and fulfilled, and if that means you have to say no to a few things along the way then so be it.

how to be more confident
Increasing your confidence isn't easy, but it can be done ©Getty

Closer's top tips for improving your confidence

  • "Realise no one else has a clue what they're doing either. Everyone else is bumbling around, unsure if they're doing it right and unable to decide which sandwich they want from Caffè Nero. Instead, pretend to be the confident person you want to be and through repeatedly doing and pretending, you will eventually just be that person. You are what you do, after all! Also take great pleasure in that no-one else is really looking at you, they're thinking about themselves, wondering if you've noticed the sauce stain on their jacket (and probably how they can seem more confident, too)." - Aimee Jakes, Shopping Editor

  • "Talk to yourself like you'd talk to your best friend and big yourself up on the daily. Give yourself all the credit you deserve. We spend so much time bigging up other people and congratulating others on their accomplishments and we never seem to do it for ourselves. Why? You're a legend! Also, allow yourself to be vain! We're taught that loving ourselves (too much) is a bad thing but if you think you look hot, take all the photos, take a compliment on your looks and run with it. Wear that dress that makes you feel amazing to death. Actually accepting compliments that you get (whether its about your appearance or your personality) instead of shrugging them off is a skill, but if you can learn to do it you'll soon realise that there's so many people in this world who think you're amazing which is a lovely confidence boost." - Hannah Mellin, Senior Digital Writer

  • "Listen to some great music. Music is the perfect way to instantly boost your confidence, when you’re getting ready in the morning blast some feel good tunes to get your day started on the right foot. On public transport whilst travelling to work or to meet a friend, plug in your headphones and forget about everything else going on around you. This can give you an instant confidence boost as it helps you to romanticise your life and forget about what anyone else is thinking!" - Lucy Brown, Editorial Assistant

  • "Put YOU first; by that I mean put yourself and your needs first. It's not selfish, it's actually very selfless - if you're at your best, you'll be at your best to help those around you. Confidence comes from within, so give yourself the same love and warmth you give to those closest to you and you'll see the benefits on the outside." - Ben Pulsford, Digital Writer

  • "May seem a bit weird but cut down on the time you spend on social media and instead read a self-help book or listen to an encouraging podcast that will actually help you and your life. Often we spend hours every day on social media where you're bombarded with pictures and videos of friends, family and strangers living their (filtered) best life and by the end of the day or week you're left with low self-esteem. I think it's usually because unconsciously you've been comparing your life to someone else's so try cutting back on your social media activity and that should help." - Eden-Olivia Lord, Deputy Editor

WATCH: Emma Kenny’s mood boosting tips

Just so you know, whilst we may receive a commission or other compensation from the links on this website, we never allow this to influence product selections - read why you should trust us