Husbands want their wives to submit; wives want our husbands to dominate
Real Housewives of New Jersey star Melissa Gorga’s new title ‘Love Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage,’ is supposed to include ‘practical strategies’ on how to strengthen a marriage and make it ‘as sexy and hot as it is warm and loving.’
The inspiration behind the book is her relationship with husband Joe Gorga, Teresa Giudice's brother – who features as a second author in the text.
But the TV star’s controversial comments on male and female roles within marriage – specifically in the bedroom – have been blasted by critics.
In fact, Jezebel writer Tracie Egan Morrissey claims that the whole book boils down to this one sentence written by Melissa: 'husbands want their wives to submit; wives want our husbands to dominate.'
Melissa's husband: If your wife says "no," turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated.
In her criticism of the writing, Tracie highlights one chapter in particular, that she says ‘advocates marital rape,’ which is written by Melissa’s husband.
Joe writes: ‘Men, I know you think your woman isn't the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says "no," turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated. Women don't realize how easy men are. Just give us what we want.’
Melissa follows the offending chapter by admitting that if she didn’t ‘give it to him once a day, he'd get upset.’
The author also says that sex helps diffuse arguments. She calls this ‘maintenance sex.’
A woman has to be available for sex
‘There's real passionate sex and maintenance sex. You need them both for a healthy marriage,’ she says.
Melissa even advises women to 'be available for sex,’ whether they want it or not.
‘A woman needs to keep herself in shape. She has to be seductive. She must be willing to try new things for her husband's pleasure and her own. And, most important, she has to be available for sex.’
She adds: ‘Even when I'm exhausted and not really in the mood, if it means a lot to Joe that we connect physically, I'll say, "I'm not so into it tonight, but let's go”.’
More shocking lines from the book:
Melissa on women being the reason that men cheat:
'The way I see it, if a wife is a puttana, her husband will never feel the urge to go outside the marriage to actual whores, or strip clubs. He won't hit on women in bars, or drool over his friend's girlfriends or the secretary. He'll rush home to his wife, who makes sure he'll have a good time (the best time) in the comfort of his own home.'
Melissa on gender roles:
‘When gender roles are confused, sexual roles are, too. If he's at the sink and then changing diapers, then who throws down in the bed? In our marriage, Joe is always the man, doing masculine things. I'm the woman, and I do the female things, including housework’
Melissa on housework:
'The routine of making dinner and keeping a clean house is how I stay grounded. It keeps me humble.'
Melissa on female toilet behaviour:
'Girls don't poop. Me, never have. Never will. It just doesn't happen. Or, that's what Joe thinks! We've been married for nine years, and he has never once seen or smelled my business. How have I pulled this off? I don't do it when he's around or awake. In an emergency, I have my ways of pooping so he won't hear, smell, or see. It's a challenge.’
Melissa’s on fashion:
‘I always wear what I want and what I like, but I also aspire to be eye candy for my husband.’
Joe on gender roles:
‘I don't care if the woman makes more money than the man, if he's a janitor and she's the president. After a fourteen-hour workday, if a man comes home and there's no dinner on the table, and his wife is on the phone, watching TV, or on the computer ignoring him, he won't feel respected.’
Joe on childcare:
‘I don't feed babies, or change the diapers. My father never wiped my ass, and I don't wipe my babies' either.’