A year ago, Natasha Hamilton was looking forward to an exciting future. She was about to reunite with Atomic Kitten for a comeback and, after eight years together, her marriage to Riad Erraji seemed stronger than ever.
While I might have failed as a wife, I'll never fail as a mother
But now the star, 31, is facing life as a single mum to her three boys Josh, 11, Harry, eight, and Alfie, three after her shock split from businessman Riad in July.
And it's clear Natasha is still struggling to come to terms with the fact that her world, as she puts it, has fallen apart.
Speaking to ***Closer Magazine's New You ***supplement, she says: 'There are times when I'm an emotional wreck, but I feel like I'm getting stronger and moving on. I thought Riad and I were solid and would be able to work through any problems but then there wasn't a major problem. We just drifted apart. But while I might have failed as a wife, I'll never fail as a mother.'
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Right now, Natasha's adjusting to life as a single mum. She says: 'When the boys are with me, I have to do everything so, by bedtime, I'm exhausted. But when they're with Riad, I feel alone. My instinct is to invite a friend over, but I tell myself: "You're going to have to get used to this".'
It was very surreal and gut-wrenching to see Riad with someone else
Natasha says she and Riad first realised there were issues in their marriage at Christmas, but it took a few months for them to see it was more than just a rocky patch. She says: 'We were so busy, we lost sight of ourselves as a couple. We were living like friends, not husband and wife. I don't think it helped that we often had the boys sleeping in our bed. But Alfie was really ill with chest infections in his first year and had a heart murmur, so we always felt happier when he was with us. Of course that takes its toll on you intimately, but Alfie's wellbeing was and is our priority.'
As for her relationship with Riad, Natasha says: 'We're not enemies. I know there's a bumpy ride ahead. There's loads to sort out now we've split, but I hope we can both be mature for the sake of the kids.'
Before this interview, photos emerged of Riad on a date with Geordie Shore's Vicky Pattison, 25.
Natasha says: 'It was very surreal and gut-wrenching to see Riad with someone else. I knew it was inevitable, but that doesn't stop it from hurting. He was the love of my life. A friend told me about the pictures I'd never heard of Vicky before. It was horrible to see them, but at least it's done now. I feel it's another part of the break-up I've been able to deal with and I suppose it means I can move on that bit more.'
The full interview appears in the special New You supplement, free with this week's Closer magazine, on sale now (Tuesday).