No, says Closer writer Fiona Day
There is definite truth to the phrase ‘once a cheater always a cheater.’ Even if that person isn’t a prolific cheater, just one indiscretion will leave an undying mark on the most perfect of relationships.
Though I believe it is possible to move past an affair and learn from you mistakes, I think it’s hugely difficult to forgive, and furthermore forget.
By choosing to forgive a cheat, you are taking the risk that they might cheat again. If a cheat begs for forgiveness and returns to his wronged lover he/she risks being punished forever for their indiscretion.
'It all comes down to trust. Once trust is broken it’s almost impossible to rebuild'
Some women have absolute zero tolerance when it comes to cheating whilst others are more forgiving. I think more women should stand proud in the former category and declare that cheating is not acceptable under any circumstances.
It all comes down to trust. Once trust is broken it’s almost impossible to rebuild. Are you prepared to live forever wondering if he really is working late? Or if his night out with the lads really was just with the boys?
The truth is that it’s hard to realise what you’ve lost until its gone. Even though it hurts like hell, dumping a cheat will teach them a lesson, and free you from angst and pain in the long term.
Yes, says Closer writer Ellie Hooper
It is possible to forgive a cheat, and go onto have a happy and fulfilling relationship, but Fiona is right that it is no easy task.
How can you get over the thought of the person you love getting physical with someone else, or worse still sneaking around and being emotionally unfaithful over a long period of time?
Whilst cheating is a terrible betrayal, if you make the decision to stay with that person after the event, you both have to make a concerted effort to rebuild your trust in one another.
'The bulk of the responsibility does lie with the cheater – they need to go out of their way to make you feel comfortable and happy again'
The bulk of the responsibility does lie with the cheater – they need to go out of their way to make you feel comfortable and happy again. So whether that means not going on nights out without you, or calling you each night before bed, they need to show willing in making you feel at ease – because the foundations of your world have been shaken.
Ground rules need to be set, but at some stage the betrayed partner needs to take a step back and realize that things are going to have to get back on an even keel.
You have to have faith, and put your trust in that person once again: it’s the only way a relationship will ever work.
But ultimately it comes down to you. You have to decide what you can live with. Will you be able to get over the fact that your partner made a mistake, or will you live with paranoia for the rest of the relationship. Every person is different, and you just have to work out which side of the fence you fall on.