While I would ordinarily be understandably ecstatic, the slight dampener to such a treat is that I won’t be able to take the boys, leaving me with 4 days’ worth of plans to make so that I can get on the plane knowing I don't have to worry about everything.
By everything, I mean every minuscule detail in the military scale operation involving 1x Grandmother, 1x Aunt, 2x Cousins, 1x Girlfriend, 1x Lady who drives the School Bus and a wonderfully kind school Mummy who doesn't mind “throwing one more into the mix” as she generously put it.
I’m not opposed to having a weekend off from Dad duties here or there, in fact I rather feel it does everyone some good. But knowing I'm away again next week for three days at a wedding in Spain is enough to make me feel not only reluctantly absent but also somewhat tired at the thought of having to make these requests of people around us two weeks in a row! They'll all be ignoring my calls if I keep this up!
Now before I get too stressed about arranging wholesale amounts of childcare, I will remind myself that only the good guys feel guilt. In my alternative and much loved role as Life Coach, I've seen plenty of cases of parents who have carelessly created disadvantages for their children in adulthood without meaning to.
Do you know how common it is that our issues as adults are so often caused by parents or an influential adult who somehow managed to impress on us a limiting belief that could affect us for life?
I’ve seen it and unravelled it many times; it starts when a parent drums something negative into a child, a recurring sentence or pattern of behaviour, which then resonates as a 'truth' or belief.
Our limiting beliefs might as well be written on our forehead as our behaviour and language gives us away. This of course doesn't count for all, I'm sure many of you reading this are from a more settled childhood environment and are reading this with only a keen interest rather than it triggering an air of familiarity.
Nonetheless, If you want to be a truly great parent, understand your 'edges', be aware of where or whom they came from and refuse to influence your child's perception of themselves by playing them the same song that you heard when you were their age.
Gladly, many actually change the record for something a little more upbeat. I’ve found there to be a natural intergenerational reflex which compels a parent to give their child the opposite to what they received.
Personally I don't mind sharing that I didn't meet my biological father, therefore it’s evident to me that I give my children the Dad I wished mine would have been to me.
Often the woman who was rejected as a child would ensure her children knew their true value, the man who was verbally abused would never shout in front of their children and so on.
The most commonly inherited hand me down is fear. People have full blown life-limiting anxieties about things which can be traced back to a single comment made in childhood.
A parent saying to a child 'don't eat other people’s food or you'll be sick' can have one very literal interpretation and a crisp from the scruffy kid’s bag of quavers later and you've got yourself an irrational and seemingly immovable fear of being sick.
We can be so preoccupied with our child's safety in crossing a road or being on the internet, and while the teaching of these dangers is of paramount importance, the greater danger to your child's future might actually be the seemingly harmless comments coming out of our mouths or via our actions.
Be mindful of the opinions you share with your child; are they your own or did you borrow them from a person or an event in your past? Do you talk negatively?
What could your child be taking responsibility for that is simply not their fault? Do we ever put unwittingly place blame on our children in order to avoid accountability?
All of the above can be so detrimental, and we might be doing this out of habits formed in the past. One of my earliest infant school memories is of being blamed for something I didn't do! What's yours?
The happier we are as individuals, the more at one we are with our past, present and future, the more chance I believe we have of raising limitless children capable of achieving whatever they set their heart on.
Look at the language you use with your children and just question with a healthy doubt what we are teaching them on a subconscious level, you can't ever go wrong if you are encouraging, empowering, listening and reinforcing everything that is special about them.
Our babies, our little miracles – we brought into the game so let's at least give them tools to have a great life, not the unwanted baggage. A little awareness goes a long way, speaking of which, its time for me to cross the Atlantic…”