Hollyoaks star Stephanie Davis has bravely opened up and revealed the reason she's not been on Hollyoaks for the past few months is because she relapsed and attempted to end her own life.
The 26 year old heartbreakingly shared her suicide video and confessed she filmed it to say "I'm sorry & cannot continue".
Steph admitted that she can "still feel the pain in her chest" when she watches the clip before going on to admit she finds it "really hard" to watch herself when she was that low.
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The actress admitted that she's decided to speak out to help "break the stigma".
She went on to detail her setback, writing, "I relapsed after a long time sober, I did so well and I am proud of myself for that.
"Because of a build up of events that happened I should have made a completely different decision with certain things and stood by everything I worked so hard for and my self worth.
"But I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason as it led me to my diagnosis."
Check out: Hollyoaks Christmas and New Year spoilers - everyone's got a secret...
Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019 - slider
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Cindy is still furious at Luke and refuses to spend Christmas with him when he arrives at Mandy's flat. Luke decides to leave but it dawns on Darren that his BFF is devastated about his diagnosis.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Darren refuses to let Luke spend Christmas alone and drags him back to the flat. The atmosphere turns awkward as Cindy flaunts her new online love interest – Jurgen – in Luke's face.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Darren is annoyed when he receives divorce papers and decides to pay Nancy a visit. Unfortunately their conversation is cut short when Kyle Kelly interrupts them.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
While, Nancy decides to throw a New Year's Eve party at The Hutch, Mandy and Darren set up a date for Cindy and Luke in the restaurant. Darren then sneaks off and tells Nancy that he wants her back – what will she say?
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Later on Mandy interrupts Cindy gossiping about Nancy behind her back and orders her to give Nancy a break. However when Nancy overhears she feels guilty and confesses all – she slept with Darren.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Following the shocking revelation, Cindy advises Luke to knock some sense into Darren. Elsewhere Mandy heads out to the party at The Loft with Leela Lomax.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
After Darren and Nancy come face to come following her confession – what will he say to her? Elsewhere Luke asks his best pal whether he wants to fix things with Mandy.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Over to the McQueens and Nana has returned following her stint in Spain and decides to get the entire village in the festive spirit by leading a festive conga line in The Dog.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
She then decides enough is enough and that she'll reunite the McQueen family back to how they previously were. When Jack tells Breda he wants them to move to Portugal she confides in Goldie and Mercedes and they make their feelings know – she shouldn't go.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Darren is also shocked when his dad Jack Osborne reveals he's planning to move abroad with Breda McQueen. Darren begs him not to go – what will Jack do?
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Breda visits Tony for advice and he encourages her to go and live her best life abroad; he hopes that she'll set him free but it quickly dawns on him that she's planning to leave him there to die.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
While all this drama is going on, John Paul returns to the village from Singapore… It becomes clear to Nana that Mercedes is still struggling when she flirts with every man around town.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Nana urges Mercedes to looks after herself and it seems that her speech works because later on in the week, Mercedes prepares a special dinner for her son Bobby Costello with John Paul by her side.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Sienna is over the moon this Christmas; she's discovers she's getting everything she wants for Christmas when she opens her dream doll's house and Liberty confesses she's pregnant.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Meanwhile Maxine is alone on Christmas Day but when Sienna discover her former pal is lonely she invites her to have Christmas dinner with them.Damon is reluctant to let Maxine join him and Minnie while they play with Minnie's inflatable ice palace he bought her.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
He then grows annoyed when Maxine takes some cold and flu tablets because he thinks she's trying to get sympathy – however he's unaware that she really does have a cold.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Sienna steps outside to get batteries for Brody's drone that she bought him. She then decides to give it a test run in the village but it gets stuck in some bunting facing Sienna's flat window…
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
After New Year's Sienna agrees to join Liberty in their sharing circle where both women discuss their hopes and dreams for the baby, as well as any worries they have.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
When Marine Nightingale and Romeo Quinn spot Juliet and Sid's blossoming relationship, they're quick to disapprove. However Juliet doesn't care and decides to send him a relationship request on social media.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
When Sid questions her latest activity online, she angrily storms off. Meanwhile Ollie Morgan and Imran Maalik try to persuade Brooke Hathaway to give Juliet a second chance following her bullying ordeal.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Marnie decides to step in and bring the teenage girls back together again… Elsewhere at the Lomax family home, Leela tells Sid that she wants to foster him – as long as he behaves himself.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
On New Year's Eve, Brooke hosts her own party but Juliet feels pressured when Sid suggests they go somewhere more private… She then begins to wonder whether becoming an official couple was a mistake.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Sid meets up with his cousin Jordan to get drugs but he's seen by Ollie and Imran. When Luke Morgan arrives he manages to convince Sid to give up the drugs and make 2020 a better year. Following their conversation, Sid confesses that he likes to play guitar so Luke encourages him to focus on his music instead of making bad habits.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Peri Lomax walks into her family home and finds Juliet and Sid about to have sex… Later Juliet asks Sid to get some drugs but he's worried that Leela will see.Later on when Juliet clashes with Mandy she steals her drink and decides to spike her with the drugs… Soon after, Liam Donovan spots the troublesome teenagers heading into the toilets.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
During an hour long fast forward special episode, the police bang on the Osborne's front door and with Charlie's game controller lying on the stairs, Nancy screams and asks what he's done.Is Charlie guilty of committing a crime? Or has it been a huge misunderstanding?
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Back in present tense, Leah Barnes suggests they play truth or dare. When it lands on Ella Richardson she's dared to steal something from The Hutch but Charlies decides to step in and do it himself.Later on, Ella promises to stay out on trouble in 2020…. During a flash-forward Leela is seen dressed up – having attended a wedding – but the question is who got married?
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
As she looks to the floor she sees a guitar has been violently smashed to pieces…. Elsewhere in the future, Ollie's dream hasn't come to pass and he's then seeing crying before declaring he misses him so much – but who is he talking about?
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Back in the present and Peri, Tom, Romeo and Yasmine Maalik all decide to head to the club but when Yazz realises she won't be able to hear anything there, Tom and the others decides to go to The Hutch instead.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Tom celebrates his birthday at The Hutch and cuts the cake with a distinctive knife… a year later the same knife is being put into an evidence bag. Peri and Romeo decide to push Tom and Yazz to get together and their matchmaking skills appear to be working because he decides to ask his friend out on a date.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Over to the Deveraux household and Walter throws shade at Martine for not raising her children but she asks her dad to give her a chance with Mitchell.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Toby and Celeste Faroe are invited to Darren's for Christmas drinks but they decide to decline the invite. They've got their own plans but it soon dawns on Celeste that they may be playing with fire.
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Hollyoaks spoilers: Christmas and New Year's Eve 2019
Also Misbah Maalik and Marnie Nightingale are at odds and following a disagreement at The Hutch, Misbah worries that she's made an enemy in the village.
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In September - shortly after splitting from co-star Owen Warner - Steph's reps told Closer Online that she was on on bereavement leave following the death of a close family member.
On Instagram Steph poured her heart out and said that it was after the death of her uncle that she "finally broke".
"I was working on something which I went through in real life that brought up a lot of pain for me. I lost my trust and self worth, I hated myself and didn't feel good enough anymore," she explained.
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"It's hard being a single mum. My uncle died and I was battling badly with my mental health without any help or medication and I finally broke.
"I knew I was breaking for a good while before this, but I was trying my absolute best to be OK, but I wasn't."
She went on to admit that her heart "couldn't take anymore pain" following her turbulent relationship with ex Jeremy McConnell which has left her with "trauma and PTSD" and is something she "still hasn't dealt with properly".
The mum-of-one to Caben-Albi admitted that after she "slowly felt her body giving up" she "drank enough and took pills to finish it off". She was then rushed to hospital, ended up in intensive care and admitted that she was one hour away from dying.
Steph - who has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and high functioning autism - went on to thank her friends, family and Hollyoaks producer Brian Kirkwood for "always standing by me and understanding me".
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Steph ended her emotional Instagram post on a high note urging anyone who is struggling with their mental health to carry on battling through, she also admitted she's hoping to make a difference in 2020 but is currently focusing on herself and building up her strength.
"I'm not back to the old Steph, the funny Steph everyone knew and loved but 10000x better. I'm so proud of myself for getting through what I just have and to the beautiful good hearted people who helped me....
"Finally Caben... you are my absolute everything, without you I wouldn't be here, I love you so much, you are my rock and reason to live, I love you with all my heart."
The last time we saw Sinead O'Connor in Hollyoaks, she was eagerly awaiting her wedding to Sami Maalik but after the pair had a falling out she left him jilted at the alter.