Her baby girl was stillborn in January
Following the absolutely heartbreaking news that her baby girl was stillborn on 30 January, Hollyoaks actress Kirsty-Leigh Porter has shared a touching tribute on her Instagram page.
The 30-year-old star posted a piece of artwork dedicated to her daughter Penny Leigh, which showed the silhouette of a new mum holding up an angel. Alongside it, she wrote:
"I have been wondering whether I should post this or not.. but here it is... I am posting this for Penny-Leigh, I am posting this for every single woman and man who have messaged me with their stories of their sleeping angels, (I have read every single one and still messaging back) I am posting this for anyone who needs to see it, I am posting this with strength that our babies will not be forgotten. I am posting this with the strength of every single person who has messaged me who understands what it’s like, in the hope that you understand you are not alone. And I am here for you. I wrote this when I had just lost my baby girl Penny-Leigh. 👼🏼"
"My heart physically aches, it is in a million pieces and whilst they try to find their way back together it’s no use as my heart will never be whole again, because when you left, a big piece of it left with you and will always be with you wherever you are.
"Nothing makes sense anymore because I can’t hold you in my arms. I don’t get to see your first smile, your first wriggle, I don’t get to dress you, change your nappy, feed you, bath you, kiss you goodnight and hug you in the morning, watch you take your first steps, watch you grow, But I will always be your mummy.
"I will always do you proud. As unbelievable grief consumes me and this dark cloud sticks above me, I still have your light to guide me. The brightest star in the sky."
Check out: Everything that will happen in Hollyoaks next week
Hollyoaks spoilers week 8 2019
1 of 17Sienna Blake Hollyoaks speech
Hollyoaks High is hosting an inspiration' 'fundraising ball' and the village residents are dressed up as iconic and inspirational people.
2 of 17Sienna Blake Hollyoaks speech
Sienna Blake delivers a big speech at the event - how will it go? (We're nervous TBH) She also shares a kiss with Laurie Shelby...
3 of 17Sienna Blake Hollyoaks speech
Sienna wakes up mortified about the kiss and goes to talk to Laurie about it at the school.
4 of 17Laurie and Sally
But Laurie is adamant that it was her who kissed him!
5 of 17Sienna Blake Hollyoaks speech
Sienna protests, saying she'll have to tell headmaster Sally St. Claire what really happened....
6 of 17Laurie Shelby
Meanwhile, Sinead O'Connor is in a panic trying to come up with a new costume idea, after Laurie expressed his hatred for her Superwoman costume. While Ste Hay is helping her get ready, she tells him that she's thinking of changing Hannah's surname to Shelby. He's against it, and not convinced her and Laurie will last... We think he might just have a point! Later in the week, Laurie and Sinead kiss, but Laurie is forceful and Sinead feels uncomfortable. Sinead then takes painkillers with a bruise on her wrist. Did Laurie purposely hurt her?
7 of 17Peri at the Hollyoaks ball
Peri Lomax is convinced Harley Frater hates Tom Cunningham, so at the ball, she locks them both in a room so they can talk it out. Tom and Harley have a heart to heart while locked up... Later in the week, Tom comes clean to Peri about what happened...
8 of 17Brody and Sienna
Brody Hudson tells Sienna he loves her for the first time.
9 of 17Brody and Sienna
Aww!
10 of 17Maxine and Damon
Damon Kinsella has to rush off when he gets a distressing text from Maxine Minniver.
11 of 17Maxine and Damon
He finds her at Sienna's flat lying on the floor, and she says she can't feel her legs.
12 of 17Maxine Hollyoaks
Maxine is being kept in hospital for tests - will she be OK?
13 of 17Misbah Hollyoaks
Misbah and Farrah Maalik confront Ste Hay about the 'killer doctor' social media post, but he's adamant that he didn't upload it.
14 of 17Ste Hay
Tony Hutchinson invites the Maaliks' to the unveiling of Tegan's park bench, without telling Ste
15 of 17Donna-Marie Quinn
Mac Nightingale is cruel to Donna-Marie Quinn after she sees a client. Juliet Quinn overhears and is furious at him.
16 of 17Mac Nightingale
Donna-Marie reveals to Cindy Cunningham that Mac is making her work as a prostitute again. Cindy tries to convince her to go to the police, offering that she can stay with her.
17 of 17Cindy Cunningham
When Donna-Marie comes home, Mac tells her how much he wants to be a family, and only makes her work to pay for that. Later, Donna-Marie rings Cindy screaming for help and saying that Mac is hurting her....
"Oh my darling Penny-Leigh, my beautiful little girl, You came into our life like a whirlwind and now all of sudden it’s gone. Quiet and still, completely numb. All our plans, our future, snatched away in a moment that we can never go back too and change. My mind can’t comprehend how I have given birth yet my baby is not here with me. How is that ok? How is that ever going to be ok?
"People say “she was too good for this earth” but that would mean there was a reason you are not still here with your mummy and daddy, and I don’t think there is any reason for it. How can being anywhere but in our arms better for you? With the overwhelming grief comes GUILT. If I’m not a heap on the bathroom floor hiding myself away crying, I am wondering aimlessly around the room with GUILT."
WATCH: Hollyoaks spoilers: What's next for Mandy and Darren?
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Fans have been quick to offer their support to Kirsty-Leigh. One wrote: "I can’t even begin to know how you feel, but all I’d like to say is, God needed a very special angel the day Penny Leigh was born. Doesn’t make things easier for you but please believe everything happens for a reason. God bless you and keep you safe. Xxxxx"
Another added: "Sending all my love, never blame yourself xxx." And a third said: "So so sorry for you're loss kirsty thinking of you & you're loved ones xxxxxx."
We're sending all our love and strength to Kirsty and her family too.