Here's some basics about myself for those who don't know who the hell I am and why the hell I've got a column in the first place; I was born a boy named Andrew, and now I'm a 27-year-old girl called Chelsey Louise Harwood.
I don't have a penis or pecs, I have boobies and a flower. I'm an outspoken scouser, I have over 109,000 followers on Facebook alone - and I receive copious amounts of hatred from a small number of haters, who want me dead because of what and who I am.
That's me in a nutshell - now let's move on to more important things!
I read a beautiful article earlier this week about a family who printed a retraction in the newspaper to say 'oops, we said we had a baby girl but actually we have a boy'.
Why? Because, 19 years after Elizabeth Anne was born in 1995, their daughter is now a beautiful boy named Kai - and she fully identifies as male.
I find it heartwarmingly perfect when parents accept their childrens' life choices. Especially when I read so many nasty comments on my videos and status updates where the transphobic person attacking me has their children displayed proudly in their profile picture.
I always want to say: 'Hang on love - if your own child decided to become a woman or man and leave their natural born gender, would you say all this to them?'
All you can really do is feel sorry for them and their kids, I guess.
Personally I'm lucky - and very grateful - to have my lovely dad and stepmum, who are the most kind and accepting people ever.
Kendra Wilkinson is DEFINITELY in my line of fire this week… she came into the I'm A Celeb 2014 jungle and attempted to flirt with Jake Quickenden until he told her flat-out that she stinks. Literally.
Erm, aren't you married? I couldn't believe it when she sat telling the story about how her husband Hank had cheated on her, but then she stopped midway through the story and said: "It's on my TV show to be screened next year." I USED TO LIKE YOU KENDRA! But sorry love, I don't like people who do shady things like that.
I'm currently in talks with one of the best management companies at the moment with a view to being signed with them - which means that (hopefully!) one day you'll see me on your screens and you will then get to see the real in reality.
My goal is Celebrity Big Brother. I've tried to get on normal Big Brother for years, but I'm deffo destined for the celebrity version - I mean, come on! I've got a column in Closer and probably a bigger fan base than half the cretins they put in the CBB house anyway... even Marcus Bentley, the voice of the show, follows me on Twitter. Imagine if it's me, Stinson Hunter and Katie Hopkins next series? THAT would be seriously good telly.
Speaking of TV, can we talk about Dance Mums for just second? In this week's show we witnessed Queen Jen screaming blue murder at a 14 year old girl, basically taking her hormonal rage out on the kid and telling her "if I tell you to go to war, you go".
Now don't get me wrong; I LIKE Jennifer Ellison - honest! But Jen, you're talking craziness! For one, this kid's not old enough to go to war - she's dancing and even won first place. Perhaps saying a simple 'well done' will do in future, yeah?
Craziness.
So that's it from me this week, my angels - I'll see you all next Friday. Fingers crossed I have some good news on the Big Brother front by then!
Peace and love to all - and an extra-special dose of good luck to my stepmum Beryl, who's having an operation on her back this week.
Love and kisses,
Chelsey
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