Ah, groupies. We've heard a lot about them, but it's very rare we ever get to hear their stories - especially when, say, they're the groupies of One Direction's Harry Styles.
Until now, that is.
A "groupie" has come forward to Reddit, a social news and entertainment website, to reveal all about her one-time sex-thing with 1D's resident batboy. And, while we have no confirmation that it's true, we are desperate to believe that it is.
Are you ready for this? It involves cupcakes, champagne and (gulp) avid descriptions of a very sneaky liaison.
"I've made a throwaway because One Direction fans terrify me. I'm from NY and was back in Chelsea on break from college up north.
"I visited my favourite cupcake shop and ran into Harry Styles. (You don't get to be a 20 year old American girl without recognising the band members of one direction.) I tipped him off that the red velvet cupcakes were the best of the lot and made an exit.
"There was Harry, recommended cupcake in hand"
"This shop is on a pretty quiet street (one of the old cobbled ones: the few the proud), so I turned around when I heard 'excuse me.' There was Harry, recommended cupcake in hand. He walked to the end of the block with me and there was a car waiting for him.
"I thought seriously about just going home, but I was pretty sure this was the kind of adventure that doesn't happen twice, so I got in when he offered.
"We drove around for awhile behind tinted windows talking casually, and eventually ended up at his hotel.
"He got out with a security guy that had been sitting in the front seat and told the driver to take me a couple blocks away, giving me directions to find his handler in the hotel. It was honestly surreal and I thought he was being a little bit ridiculous until I saw the literal mob of teenage girls at the front door.
"I worked my way through the crowd (nobody stopped me because I wasn't with Harry.) Surprisingly, his slightly vague directions panned out and I ended up in his suite.
"We had great conversations, good sex, and excellent champagne, at which point he needed to leave for some facet of his job, so I headed out of the hotel outside past the mob of fans.
"It was a really bizarre experience and, ultimately, I feel bad for him after witnessing all the smoke and mirrors that went into a casual afternoon.
"He seemed like a good guy, and I hope he's doing well, but I have no desire for a repeat. I'm a really private person and am unwilling to take the risk of my name or picture leaking."
"We had great conversations, good sex, and excellent champagne"
As we say, there's nothing other than her word to prove that this happened, but… it's the sort of celebrity sex story we 'd love to be true. Anything that involves One Direction, Harry Styles, red velvet cupcakes, a "pretty normal penis" and a girl who wishes to retain her anonymity just… well, it just smacks of believability.
Either way, it makes for an interesting read on a Tuesday morning, doesn't it?
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