TUE 5 NOV
Obsessesive Compulsive Cleaners, 8pm, C4
This frankly brilliant series from Channel 4 continues with Jade (above) - a mum of two who gets anxious if she can’t spend all day cleaning - visiting the home of Deborah, who is known as the ‘goat woman of Dunstable’. Once Jade’s done the school-run, she cleans from 9am-3pm, even tackling the creases on slept-in beds. Debs meanwhile has shared her house with six goats for six years and they “cr*p everywhere”, nice. We also meet mum-of-three Lynsey (“I buy a lot of bleach”) who hoovers 20 times a day and cleans her toilet up to 30 times. She’s in Blackpool, helping newlyweds Scott and Faith whose home looks like a scrapyard.
The Escape Artist, 9pm, BBC1
After the shocking conclusion to last week’s brill opener, Will - as you can imagine - is all over the shop. Much to his consternation, Maggie (Sophie Okonedo) decides to defend Liam Foyle, but he’s not going to take this lying down – even though he’s still off work, he risks his career to help find evidence that will finally put this creep away forever.
Iceland Foods: Life In The Freezer Cabinet, 9pm, BBC2
It doesn’t matter if mum’s gone to Iceland or not, this entertaining docu follows genuinely nice chap Malcolm Walker – the CEO of Iceland supermarket – as he tries to turn his company’s fortune around. While he’s busy launching a new trendy Ad following the horsemeat scandal, Tooting store manager Sandra is determined to catch the thief stealing her salmon fillets at 9.30 every morning…
WED 6 NOV
Going Wild With The Joneses’, 8pm, Sky1
He’s been off radar for a while and now we know why; that nice Welsh chap Steve Jones has been enjoying a nice jolly with his brothers Jonathan and Chris – three years after Sky sent the boys to the Amazon for the “adventure of a lifetime”. Now, joined by dad Keith they’re off to Africa’s Kalahari Desert to go back to basics; trekking and living off the land. And while this may sound a tad more exciting than a holiday in Wales, think ‘not so friendly neighbours’ in the form of lions, leopards, scorpions, spiders and the like, gulp. Not to mention each other.
MasterChef: The Professionals, 8pm, BBC1
It’s serious business in tonight’s one-hour show as only the best three chefs will go through to the Quarter Final – but not without facing Monica’s Skills Test (gulp) and Michel Roux Jr’s Classic challenge. Yes, and that would be a traditional duck breast in red wine sauce, in just one hour, and with no weights or measurements given. Should be interesting!
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Agatha Christie’s Poirot, 8pm, ITV
****The penultimate Poirot is a complicated affair involving the murder of society girl Lucinda, which sends the moustached detective into a deep despair. Once he’s snapped out of it, a game of cat and mouse takes him to the Swiss Alps, but not before reuniting with Orla Brady as a Countess with a thick Russian accent who is the only woman to have stirred Poirot’s ageing heart, goodness!
THU 7 NOV
Waterloo Road, 8pm, BBC1
It’s time to wave tatty-bye to another series of Waterloo Road, but not there are a few dramas in store until term officially ends. Number one being Simon and bunny-boiler Sue’s wedding, which is very imminent. Will he go through with it? He’s a braver man than us if he does. Plus, Kacey’s trip to the States is very touch and go, and Christine faces a tough job interview.
Dracula, 9pm, Sky Living
****Old Draccie’s on the warpath, trying to find The Order (those nasty sorts who burnt his wife at the stake centuries ago). But to get to this truth, he has to butter up the big businessmen of Victorian London. And his alter ego, Alexander Grayson, isn’t doing the best job in the world. At least he’s a hit with the ladies.
Drifters, 9.30pm, E4
The comedy about three bessie chums continues with Meg being offered an internship at a local radio station and getting to go on a date which, as ever, doesn’t go very swimmingly. Meanwhile, Bunny is dreading spending a Saturday alone and so decides to test out being depressed. Plus, Laura suspects Gary of cheating on her and takes drastic action.
FRI 8 NOV
The Graham Norton Show, 10.35pm, BBC1
Wondering why your mum / aunt / anyone over the age of 60 is showing a keen interest in staying in tonight, glued to the box? Look no further than Graham Norton’s sofa, which is being graced by the age-defying crooning legend that is Sir Cliff Richard (swoooon!). While Graham hopefully attempts to find out just what it is about this man that makes women of a certain age go weak at the knees, we’ve also got Dot Cotton herself June Brown (even older than Cliff would you believe), comic Greg Davies, and Jude Law upping the A-list factor. Bring it on.
Off The Beaten Track, 8pm, ITV
This week Christine’s in Essex, but there’s no time to squeeze in a vajazzling sesh, alas, as she instead heads to the countryside to explore the beautiful landscape. She befriends a 40 strong pack of bloodhounds (rather her than us), before being chased by them – which people do for fun/sport, apparently. She also checks out an actual tree painted by John Constable, and attempts some sketching herself.
Alan Carr: Chatty Man, 10pm, C4
We hope Al’s got a nice skimpy outfit tucked away somewhere (well, not too skimpy) as he’s joined by none other than famous ‘twerker’ Robin Thicke, who might just want to practise some of those moves on him previously enjoyed by Miley Cyrus! Plus, Paul O’Grady drops by to discuss his new chat show, and Jack Whitehall brings his Daddy along, Michael.